12 days of Christmas: Black-sheeping the holidays

It’s that time of year again where the white sheep gather to deck the halls with boughs of the holiday spirit (whatever that means), while they sing Christmas carols and relish in white sheep bliss. 

But not everyone is looking forward to Christmas gatherings, 44 percent of people said they feel anxious around family members during the holidays. If you’re one of those people who don’t get along with the white sheep, you might be the black sheep or the goat of the family. 

I’m the black sheep of my family. But it’s cool because for the first Christmas since I became a loud-and-proud black sheep/goat, I’m actually excited to see the white sheep this Christmas. 
I’ll be the first to admit that as I transitioned from the white sheep to a black sheep, there were a lot of family gatherings that were hard because of my jaded black sheep attitude. 

Tips to black sheep like a pro this holiday season: 

1. White sheep don’t always share your sense of humor.

You might try to joke around to lighten the mood, but tread carefully. Jokes that kill in some crowds, may fall flat with the white sheep. (Really, they’re probably missing out on how funny you are.) But also, don’t be the person who can’t be the butt of the joke. Chances are, your white sheep family members are just as nervous to be with you, so they might make some terrible jokes, too. Just roll with the punches for the greater good of your relationship. Swallow your goat pride and have fun. 

2. Avoid politics.

3. Be confident by being genuine with yourself, ’cause haters gonna hate. 

The only way you’ll feel comfortable hanging out with the white sheep is if you’re confident.

Before you start your Christmas gathering rounds, do what you need to do to be your best self, whether that means you have to do your power poses in mirror, listen to “Born this Way” on repeat, or to treat yourself.

 When you’re confident and comfortable being a black sheep, you’ll be less defensive and more open to your family members.

4. “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”

It’s hard to be a hater when you come to Christmas gatherings with an open mind. If you respect your white sheep family members and appreciate the life circumstances that make them unique, they might be able to respect your black wool.

5. Don’t show up family gatherings drunk.

6. Respect their white sheep drink preferences.

Maybe your white sheep family are yuuuuuge hot cocoa addicts, but you’re more of a coffee-flavored person. That’s cool. Different drinks make different people happy. Don’t assume their hot cocoa is bad or it makes them unhappy (even if there are 24 grams of sugar in each serving of hot cocoa.)

7. ‘Tis the season to stop fighting.

This might be the Christmas where you take the initiative to build bridges with the white sheep, even if it’s awkward… (and you have a panic attack in the car before you knock on that door). Just show up. The white sheep might surprise you.

8. Don’t blame the white sheep for your own goat problems.

9. There’s a huge difference between agreeing to disagree with a family member and having an abusive family.

If you’re a hard-core black sheep and your family doesn’t respect that, USU researchers found that separating from toxic family members can be beneficial, even life-saving. But just because you don’t get along with your family doesn’t mean they’re abusive. Abuse is persistent, which means they’re consistently cruel or violent.

10. Sick of sticking out? Spend this Christmas with fellow black sheep. 

If you’re all alone this Christmas, there’s an awesome Facebook page called “Cache Valley Heathens.” It’s a great way to network and make friends with people in the valley who understand being the family black sheep/goat.  

There’s nothing wrong with being the goat/black of the family, so embrace it. The ever-so-wise John McCrea, AKA lead singer of Cake, once said: