12 Days of Christmas: dealing with the gifts you wish you hadn’t received
We’ve all been there. It’s Christmas morning and we are opening up the next gift from a loving family member or friend. What could it be? Is it that new book you’ve been dying to read or that movie with the actor you have a crush on? Maybe it’s a pair of self-warming boxer briefs that can keep you warm in your cold apartment or a juicer that you’re sure you will use one day but inevitably just ends up taking up space on your kitchen counter.
Whatever it is, it’s going to be awesome. If not, you know how to accurately imitate the video of the avocado kid and with forced sincerity will just say, “thaaaanksss.”
You unwrap the gift. It’s in a big box, so you know it’s going to be great. You open the box and inside there’s another box, and another box and another. You get to the smallest box; this is a classic gag and you commend your family member or friend on their commitment to trolling you. You open up the last package and inside is a gift card to “Al’s Meat and Cheese Emporium.”
This is the absolute worst gift.
You thank the person who gave it to you and you stare at the gift card knowing fully well that you aren’t just a vegetarian, but you’re also lactose-intolerant.
What now?
Here are four tips on how to deal with those gifts that have no place in your life come Dec. 26.
- Regift it. Regift it. Regift it.
There is absolutely no harm in using your gift to benefit someone else. One man’s terrible Christmas gift is another man’s great Bar Mitzvah gift. If you have someone in your life that you know will enjoy this gift more than you, don’t hesitate to regift it. Just make sure that the original gifter (the O.G. if you will) isn’t in attendance when Operation Regifting is underway.
2. Try and Return it.
While this probably won’t work with items such as gift cards and slightly used candles, returning a gift can be a great way to treat yourself in the name of the person who gave you a gift. Most stores let you switch your gift for a product of equal or lesser value. However, dealing with the lines at the returns counter can be a nightmare in itself.
3. Give it to a coworker
Odds are, you didn’t buy your coworker a gift. Maybe you made it through that terrible holiday “secret santa” thing your company does every year, but if you really want to surprise a coworker that you don’t hate, give them your rotten gift to keep the Christmas spirit alive the day after Christmas. If they hate it, oh well. That’s not your problem, you didn’t buy it.
4. Forget about it
If none of the options above help you, just throw the gift in a pile somewhere in your house where you are likely to forget about it. I can’t tell you how many “Twilight” books I’ve received that make perfect coasters and doorstops. I even have a copy of Donald Trump’s “The Art of the Deal” that I keep in the bathroom for emergencies. Be creative!
—erickwood97@gmail.com
@GrahamWoodMedia