COLUMN: Combat copycat with a mullet
Dear Lindsay,
I have a roommate who is driving me up the wall. I love her to death, but I am starting to resent her every time I see that she copies me. If I wear my hair a certain way or buy a new shirt, she does also. Maybe I am just being sensitive to the fact that I have a number one fan, but please help me!
Sincerely, Not Impressed with Imitation
Dear Not Impressed,
It is true that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but when it is unwarranted, imitation can become the sincerest form of battery. Not physical exactly, but emotional and social battery for sure.
Who wants to have someone copy everything you wear, say and do? That can result in people being pretty weirded out, staring and avoiding you so they don’t have to have the same conversation twice.
This roommate of your seems to be suffering from a severe case of STD, or Seeking a Twin Desperately. As a twin, I am left speechless by this desire, because I have witnessed firsthand the horrific effects having a genetic clone can bring.
STD is a common disorder that is more commonly found among middle- and high school-age girls who are searching for their own identity while clinging relentlessly to a friend for social support. For a college student this is worrisome, but mostly just for the victim – which happens to be you.
Thankfully, I recently learned how to fix this situation from a classic episode of “Full House.” Since my space is limited, I’ll just give you the moral and let you imagine the slow, cheesy music and soothing voice of Bob Saget that accompanied it.
Basically, Michelle (co-played beautifully by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) insisted on repeating everything her family said and was finally beaten at her own game when they all joined in and copied her back.
The real moral here is: Hey Olsen twins – don’t dish it if you can’t take it.
I’m sorry. That was just the jealousy speaking … or writing. But the actual lesson here is to break through the tolerance and fight back.
We have two options. One of them could either get rid of this STD for good or fulfill all her wishes. The other is guaranteed to take her down, but will require some drastic sacrifice of pride. Let me elaborate.
Plan A: Take Bob Saget’s advice. Don’t get dressed or do your hair until she is ready. Then imitate her to the utmost extent and perfect her look through shopping for whatever you lack. She is wearing a camouflage tube top and a mini backpack … and you will too. She cuts her hair into a curly mullet with steps … and you’ll do whatever it takes to create an exact replica.
Like I mentioned, this may fulfill all she was trying to attain in the first place, but there is also potential for it to shut her down for good.
Sure, you’ll lose your own identity in the process, but isn’t that a small price to pay to eventually be an individual again? Well, after your hair grows out, that is.
Plan B: This may require a sacrifice of all personal pride, but the plan is flawless. If she is going to imitate you, why not give her some fresh material? Once again, a curly mullet with steps could come in handy.
There is a good chance she won’t copy that one, and if she does, she’ll probably wish she didn’t because it doesn’t really work with most facial structures. Your options are wide open with this one, so go all out and have fun while humiliating yourself, and maybe even your roommate, in the process.
Lindsay Kite is a junior majoring in print journalism. Send critical comments or receive your own personalized advice by contacting lindsaykite@cc.usu.edu.