COLUMN: Who really has family values?
With the elections approaching, there is consistent harping about family values. Sadly, I think we are less concerned with what they really are and more worried about who we think has them.
On the conservative side, family values, simply defined, means the ability to tell your kids no-no sex, no drugs, no booze, no abortions. Enough said.
Liberally speaking, family values are more of a system. They start by telling kids how to be safer when indulging in risky behavior. They say things like don’t drink and drive. If you are going to have sex, use protection. Then they tell them why they don’t think they should do it at all and send them out hoping they make the right choice.
Now who’s right? It’s time again to pick up the century-old debate, and I’m not sure where to cast my vote.
While my conservative side assures me I don’t support behaviors like premarital sex or drugs and alcohol, I also find myself thinking, “As a future parent, how likely is it that I will be able to control everything my children do? Is it realistic to think no one else in my child’s life will have an influence?”
In times like these, my first inclination is to turn to God, something I know many conservative souls do. We get down on our knees and pray that the people we love will be protected from what we consider “the evils of the world.” We ask God to guide our choices and direct our paths that we, and our families, can live the happiest life possible.
But then what do we do? We fight. We stand up and fight to rid the world of every evil thing. We publicly say no to abortion, no to any kind of sex education other than abstinence, no to gay marriage and no to legalizing drugs. We say no and we fight.
This is a noble thought, and in some instances the best action. However, I wonder if some conservatives ever thought of the consequences of destroying all the things we think are evil.
First thing to consider is the evil is rarely destroyed; most often it is transformed. If this country were to suddenly make abortion in any form illegal, abortion would simply go back underground. It would become a black market kind of deal, done in less-than-sterile environments by less-than-qualified people. People would still have it done, but at a great danger to themselves. Even though I don’t agree with abortion, I would hate young girls, who have simply made bad choices, put themselves in that much physical danger.
The same kind of thing would occur with premarital sex. It’s a topic that’s hard for parents. They don’t want their kids doing that. So they send them to school, where in the classroom kids hear no, but in hallway kids hear yes. Educational requirements, as they currently stand, require teachers teach abstinence only. But simply because that’s all teachers can teach doesn’t mean that’s all kids learn. Wouldn’t it be better to make kids smart? Teach them to be safe. Again, I would hate to see kids, my own or otherwise, out there making foolish choices, putting themselves in physical danger, when it could have been prevented.
So we are arguing about family values. Conservatives say, “We want to protect our children.” Liberals say, “Then why don’t you do it?”
Who’s right? I think it’s about time to realize it might be both. It’s about time we understand that morals and values are taught in the home. School is about understanding our choices. Values help us make the right choice. It’s about time we realize that government is designed to protect choices and not just the ones we agree with. If we want to preach about the land of the free, Americans must be willing to allow, not necessarily support, choices.
It’s about time liberals and conservatives stop knocking heads over “family values” and come up with a plan that works.
Mikaylie Kartchner is a senior majoring in print journalism. Comments can be sent to mikayliek@cc.usu.edu.