Juggling school, kids harder than it seems, some say
For students with children, the daily demands of school, work and family responsibilities can be daunting.
Cindy Ollis, mother of three girls, ages 5, 3,and 2 says the most difficult thing about having a family and going to school is not having enough hours in the day.
Ollis works as a graduate assistant at Utah State University as she pursues concurrent Master’s and doctorate degrees in research and evaluation methodology. Her husband attends USU and works part time as well.
A typical day for Ollis begins with walking her oldest daughter to kindergarten. Her daughter, if given the opportunity, would take 45 minutes to an hour to walk to school because she likes to play with the sticks, pinecones and squirrels along the way. In order to get to school by 8 a.m. herself, Ollis says she has to force her daughter to walk faster than she wants to.
At school, Ollis generally has class or works until 11 a.m. or 1 p.m. then picks her daughter up from school. During the 10 or 15 minutes she is home after that, she makes lunch, feeds her children, eats, then goes back to school until 4 p.m., while her husband takes care of the girls. (Her husband’s Saturday and night classes help balance the juggling act).
Ollis said she emphasizes the need to be organized. She has a system for her girls where they can earn points for completing certain tasks and redeem them for privileges.
“That helps them do what they need to do, which leaves more time for you,” Ollis said.
This doesn’t mean that it’s always smooth sailing. Ollis said she has her challenges.
“I do get stressed out, but there’s not a whole lot I can do about that,” she said, adding she also misses being home with her girls more.
Ollis’ advice to students who do not yet have children is to “get as much done as you can and study hard because school is so much easier before you have kids.”
Upon coming home, Ollis devotes time to her girls until they go to bed.
Besides taking care of unexpected events, Ollis said she has the everyday upkeep of life: making and eating dinner, helping her girls with their homework, cleaning-up and reading bedtime stories. Ollis then has time to study for two or three more hours before getting some rest herself.
Meanwhile, in the Walters household, Russell and Lewana, seniors majoring in computer science and psychology, have a juggling act of their own.
As the parents of two sons, Sam, 14, and Harley, 8, they describe some of the challenges of going to school and raising children.
One semester, as they were both sitting down to take a test, Russell got a call from someone at the elementary school informing him that Harley had been throwing up and had a fever.
“I can’t say no to my test; I can’t say no to going and getting Harley … I had to tell the school, ‘I’ll be there in 45 minutes,'” Russell said. He decided to get through the test as quickly as possible.
Lack of money for their children is also an obstacle for the Walters.
“We had to rely on Sub for Santa this last Christmas and it’s hard,” Russell said. “I mean, as a parent you want to be able to provide for the kids and it sometimes gets a little depressing.”
Russell believes it’s particularly difficult on Sam.
“Being full-time students, we don’t have some of the things his friends have,” Russell said. “When he was younger it was easier, but now he’s 14. He just doesn’t have the life that a normal teenager has.”
The Walter’s are trying to move from a two-bedroom to a three-bedroom apartment so that Sam can have a little space away from his brother.
Despite their challenges, Russell and Lewana remain optimistic and make time for their boys.
“When we get a few bucks, a big treat is Burger King and they really like that,” Russell said.
He and Lewana also enjoy playing computer games or board games with their boys or watching TV together.
What is their secret to success?
“Teamwork for us”, Russell said.
“Yeah, it’s teamwork” Lewana agreed.
“I don’t think we’d do as well without each other,” Russell added.
Ollis said she also knows the value of prioritizing. Her advice to others in similar situations is, “Keep things in perspective, remember what’s most important to you and prioritize your time so you’re not wasting your time doing things that don’t matter.”
Jason Steadman, father of three girls, ages 8, 6 and 10 months, just finished his master’s degree in speech-language pathology at USU. His wife, Kathy, a stay-at-home mom, reflects on the challenges and blessings associated with having a husband in school while raising children.
“In some ways it’s been hard because he has had to be gone a lot – which is always hard on the kids,” she said. “But in some ways it’s good because he’s always telling them how important school is and I think that they … know that college is important. They already talk about when they’ll go to college some day.”
The Steadman girls will get out notebooks and pencils and sit next to their father, pretending like they’re studying with him, Kathy said.
Kathy said she advises single students not to be distracted by jobs or get sick of school and decide to quit right away. She said, if at all possible, just get your education done because it’s easier than leaving, having a family and then needing to come back to college. With children “there are just so many more concerns like insurance and other things that you don’t worry about so much when it’s just you, and it is harder because you have to uproot your family,” Kathy said. She said getting an education while at a younger age also gives people an advantage for retirement.
Even though Jason and Kathy didn’t finish school while they were “young,” Kathy said coming back has been worth it. They came back to school because they realized how important education was for their family.
“[Jason] was working jobs that weren’t really going to take us anywhere and … it’s exciting to see what the future will be now, with an education and a brighter outlook,” Kathy said.
Not surprisingly, Kathy said she looks forward to her husband having a good job and also to the possibility of owning a home.
However, as her eyes light up, she said, “I think the most exciting thing about being done is having our daddy more.”
-amystanger@cc.usu.edu