COLUMN: BYU fans plotting to mob USU

MEGAN ALLEN

 

Last week, a video surfaced on YouTube and within hours was splashed all over the Facebook pages of die-hard Aggie fans. Of course, it was all over BYU students’ pages too, and they were sure we didn’t know about it.

The 4 1/2 minute tutorial teaches the BYU student section moves for a flash mob they are planning on performing at the football game on Sept. 30. After the first quarter, the entire student section is planning to break out into a choreographed dance to the old “Space Jam” favorite, “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)” Real clever, right? The dance looks like a collaboration of pieces of all the line dances we were taught at EFY. Some parts even seem a bit too scandalous for them and may be breaking the Honor Code.

Generally, the term “flash mob” refers to a group of people spontaneously breaking out into dance, in an effort to surprise and confuse the people around them. The thing is, if everyone else knows about it, the surprise element is shot. And we will be confused wondering why the Zoobs think they’re so cool.

You’d think they’d understand YouTube is not a private medium. Everyone has access to it. BYU students should know our fans well enough by now to know if something this ridiculous is posted, we will get our hands on it. BYU fans always get after us for being so quick to make fun of them, but really, it’s their own fault. They make it too easy.

The dance instruction is led by a BYU co-ed and a guy who apparently has nothing better to do than appear in awkward videos. They take these four minutes to walk everyone through the dance, breaking it down by counts. After going through it a couple of times, they turn around and show the moves from the back. Apparently BYU students aren’t smart enough to figure that part out on their own.

A couple of days before the dance lesson made its way to the World Wide Web, a video titled “BYU Fan Playbook” was also posted. The same awkward guy from the dance video hosts this one as well, and with the spirit squad he teaches BYU fans what to do on game day. He gets uber-excited and into it, using pieces of the band and a small cross-section of fans who seem to be faking their enthusiasm to get through the video. He shares some of the most obvious football traditions and seems to think they apply only to BYU. He teaches the fight song and tells everyone to wear blue. Throw in a super ridiculous rendition of the Journey classic “Don’t Stop Believin’,” and you’ve got yourself some BYU football fans.

Really? It takes a whole video to do that?

I’m glad I go to a school where being a fan comes naturally. There is no work involved. As the clock counted down to kickoff of the football game against Weber, I was worried about the outcome of “I Believe.” But guess what? It rocked! Granted, we have some work to do, and people need to work on their rhythm and synchronization, but for being the first game, I was very impressed.

From the Spectrum to Romney Stadium to Eccles Ice Arena, Aggie fans are everywhere. We are loud, we are passionate, we are creative. Every year we get national attention for our awesomeness. Conveniently, our teams keep getting better, and that encourages greatness from the fan side.

In about a week, the Aggies will be heading to that not-so-wonderful land down south. The cougars have no idea what’s about to hit them. As we all saw during the so-called “Holy War” Saturday night, BYU is struggling. Heaps can’t even hang on to the ball.

And here we are, with the best quarterback in the state — Chuckie Keeton. Ask anyone, even a Utah or BYU fan, and they are likely to agree. Robert Turbin is getting all sorts of attention as the best player in the state. Statistically speaking, Utah State is currently fourth in the nation in rushing offense. We are ninth in scoring offense. We are fifth in total offense. We’re tied — with 25 other teams — for first in red-zone conversions. I could keep going on and on about the stats, but I won’t. All you need to know is that we’re kind of a big deal. We’re kind of awesome.

We realize BYU doesn’t consider us much of a rival, but we’ll see how they feel when we beat them for the second year in a row, in their house. We don’t need a dance. We don’t need a video teaching us how to love and support our team. We are Utah State.