COLUMN: Bored? Use the club
If I told you that I wanted to go clubbing tonight, you might say, “Clubbing in Logan, Utah? I don’t think so.” Think again. Finding entertainment through clubs is alive and well on the USU campus, you simply need to look for the right kind of club. You won’t find the right club if you think I’m talking about nightclubs, blunt objects or the club sandwich, (though those are also entertaining). I’m referring to the type of club that is a gathering of individuals with similar interests.
Some clubs have multiple purposes. They can be social venues as well as provide great benefits to the community, such as service clubs.
One such club on the USU campus would be the Circle K club. The brilliance of this service club is that it reels people in by letting them think it is a club for fans of the popular Circle K gas station, when it is, in fact, a full-fledged service club. I highly recommend it, even if it isn’t associated with the gas station. For information concerning some fun, upcoming projects, contact Lance Hunter at hunter@cc.usu.edu.
While some clubs serve as assets to the community, others have purely tyrannical purposes. My brother tried to set up his very own empirical regime under the guise of an innocent Cursive Club. Though the club was swiftly
denounced and effectively disbanded through the efforts of yours truly, this does demonstrate the power and influence clubs can have. To direct declarations of freedom against my brother’s attempted tyranny, contact Isaac
at isa@cc.usu.edu.
Maybe you are not into helping other people or trying to dominate the world through cursive. That’s OK. There actually happens to be a club for pretty much anybody no matter what their motives. The USU Web site shows at least 264 such clubs and organizations affiliated with the university. Let me give you some examples:
Most of you might expect that there would be a Dance Club, since dancing is a pretty popular pastime. If you are no good at dancing you would probably assume the best thing you could do is to avoid dance clubs. Not so. USU has just the dance club for you: the Ugly Dancing Club. I’m not kidding. This is really a university-sponsored club that is meant to “provide a channel of advocacy for those plagued by a lack of rhythm.” Those who qualify (if you
think that the Macarena is a type of pasta, you qualify) can contact Amber Wardle at amberwar@cc.usu.edu.
Maybe you have a fetish for sweets in the form of a rich, brown substance. There is no need to suffer this fetish alone anymore. The Chocolate Lover’s Club will unite you with people who have the same sweet tooth tendencies as you. For wild guesses on the types of refreshments served at these club meetings, contact Christina Guymon at cguymon@cc.usu.edu.
Some might think that clubs are just altruistic methods to keep you from wasting your spare time watching TV or playing video games. I beg to differ, and so would the WASD club, which is a video game club dedicated to playing video games and hosting tournaments. Jonathon Hemingway at neutralflux@hotmail.com is your contact for such useful entertainment.
These are just a few, actual and real examples of the club options you have as a student here at USU. Due to limits within my column I will not be able to expound to you the fascinating details of the Breakdancing Club, the Aggie Tubing Club, the Salsa Club or any other varied club options, but I encourage you to look it up on the USU Web site.
While there are nearly infinite possibilities, I do feel, however, that there is one group of students who still may not be able to find a club to match them. These students would be the ones who are adamantly opposed to the formation of clubs of any kind. In order to resolve such a dilemma, I am proposing the formation of a new club, of which I humbly nominate myself president: the Anti-Club Club. Anyone interested in such a club is invited not to join.
Marty Reeder is a senior majoring in history education. Comments or personal clubbing requests can be sent to martr@cc.usu.edu.