COLUMN: It ain’t fair to leave just one square
Dear Lindsay,
My roommates somehow think it is OK to use all the toilet paper on the roll and never replace it. Sometimes they’ll leave a square and a half just so it doesn’t look completely gone. This makes me want to get revenge and never replace it either, but I know this is a vicious cycle. Please tell me how to make them stop.
Sincerely, Sick of the Cycle
Dear Sick of the Cycle,
I see a few issues that got you into this mess in the first place. First, you may have already stooped to their level. Once that happens, there is no hope of anyone stepping up and doing what they know is right. Second, it sounds like your roommates have never been faced with the problem of being stuck with no toilet paper. It is possible that you are the only one who is even bothered by this problem if you replace it every time you go in.
The most obvious solution is to refrain from using your own bathroom. There are plenty of facilities on campus and in town that are regularly stocked with toilet paper for your enjoyment.
You just watch … your roommates will get a taste of their own medicine and gradually begin to take responsibility for their careless actions.
I guess another possible option would be to write a note or ask your roommates to start replacing empty rolls, depending on how well you want the lesson to really sink in.
Dear Lindsay,
I have been a student at Utah State for a few years now. But due to prices rising and my income plumetting, I’m being forced to move home next fall and transfer to … gulp … the University of Utah. I don’t have much choice in the matter, but how can I survive as a member of a rivaling student body? I own a plethora of Aggie apparel and enjoy supporting our sports teams. However, I’m afraid if I show any signs of my current support for USU, I will be beat up at my new school. And I’d hate to get blood on my cute “Show em Your A-Game” shirt. Please help!
Sincerely,
Aggie at Heart
Dear Aggie at Heart,
I know you mentioned you don’t have much choice in the matter, but I beg to differ. Perhaps there are a few options you hadn’t considered.
Money is the root of all evil, especially if that is the reason you have to go to the U, which is a real hot-spot for evil. Unless you want to be a part of all that misery and endless woe, I’d consider taking on an after-school job and also a night shift. The cheese factory is most likely hiring and you might want to look into something like a nanny or nursing job where they pay you to spend the night too – since that would cover housing and provide you the occasional time for sleep.
If you aren’t up for the cheese production/graveyard caretaking shift, one readily available option is the full-ride scholarship. I’m not sure about your qualifications for any of those, but your story is heart-wrenching enough that someone will have to feel for you.
If neither of those options are applicable to you, I guess you’ll have to surrender to the U – but do it grudgingly. Wear all of your USU gear to classes, including blue and white face paint and hair color. Don’t let anyone mistake you for one of them.
Show a good example for us by attending every sporting event you can find while wearing full Aggie attire. Any athlete down there, be they basketball, lacrosse, tennis or people out playing Frisbee … all are fair game for relentless taunting.
If you do happen to get beat up and find blood on your new game-day shirt, wear it proudly as a sign of your everlasting devotion to your first-loved school.
Lindsay Kite is a junior majoring in print journalism. If you are in need of advice, please contact lindsaykite@cc.usu.edu before it gets any worse.