Going the distance: Ignoring the Surgeon General’s warning on movies

Can you see it? There, at the end of the tunnel. You see that speck of light? That’s Christmas Break, and it’s coming soon.

Christmas Break is the best time to be a college student, because for three weeks, you’re really not a college student. You don’t have any tests or projects weighing over you, and there’s a clean slate.

This kind of break requires some truly fun activities to celebrate.

Despite all my efforts as the arts and entertainment editor here, many people are still convinced there is nothing to do in town beyond renting movies. Well, if you feel that way, let me suggest a way to take renting movies to the level that is truly worthy of the winter break.

I’m talking about movie marathons.

That’s right, I’m talking six to thirteen hours straight of watching of a single movie series. The only real goal here is to overload yourself with something you love until you start to hate it.

It’s more fun than it sounds when I say it like that – trust me.

The rules

The rules of a movie marathon are simple. Actually, they’re so easy because you can play any way you want. These are just a few suggestions to get you started.

Only bother with a series that has three or more movies. Anything less really isn’t a marathon, more of a movie fun run. They’re good for training, but not for serious marathoners.

Also, all the movies have to have been released in theaters. Anything directed to video or made for TV is out. This is for your own protection.

And don’t start a series that is still currently open. For example, if you were to start watching “Harry Potter” movies, you’d only get to four, and then you’d just have an empty feeling inside.

Invite as many people as you can. The more, the merrier; that’s what I always say. Besides, staying awake through all the “Crocodile Dundee” movies is an accomplishment – the kind that should be shared with friends.

Having your best buddies around also makes staying awake through the whole event easier. Team work: it’s the only way to make it through the end.

Start after 5 p.m. If you start in the morning, you’ll be done in time for dinner and that’ll just cheapen the accomplishment. Don’t cheat yourself. Play it honest.

The supplies

There are basically two things you need to make it through a movie marathon. The first is something to help you stay awake. The most common way to do this is through beverages. Even if you prefer to avoid caffeine, if you drink enough, you will stay awake. I promise you.

You’ll also need a large supply of snacks to keep your energy levels up through the whole thing. Nothing healthy, just candy, chips and beef jerky. Your stomach should be just as sore at the end of this thing as your eyes.

The movies

Naturally, the most important part of a movie marathon is the series you choose to watch. Here are some of my suggestions:

“Back to the Future”: In my mind, this is the ultimate movie marathon. The movies are all fun and popular with most people. Plus, they link together like one long movie so you actually get more out of it watching them all in one sitting.

“Star Wars”: The original marathon movies. Now there are twice a many as there used to be, making the whole six the Everest of all-night movie fests. Unlike the real Everest and most of the other series I list, this one actually gets easier as you go.

“Lord of the Rings”: If Star Wars is Everest, this is K2. Not quite as long, but considered by many (and here, by “many,” I mean me, but I’m sure some one agrees with me) to be more difficult. If you can make it all the way through without skipping forward to the next battle scene, you will have accomplished something you can brag about when school starts back up again.

“Die Hard”: Back before M. Night Shyamalan ruined him by convincing him he could act, Bruce Willis could do no wrong. For an in-your-face reminder of the true bad-a he used to be, follow officer John McClane in his own personal war on terror.

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”: This is an interesting trip down memory lane. You’ll spend the first movie being proud of how much cooler your childhood obsessions were than anything today’s kids have. You’ll spend the next two days wondering what you were on.

“Rocky”: Not one I’d normally recommend because all the movies are so similar and break my no open series rule, but with “Rocky 6” due to hit theaters just before Christmas, I’m thinking watching all the Italian Stallion’s films could be the perfect lead-in.

“Austin Powers”: Sure, these movies have been quoted so many times they are cliché, but sometimes a night of clichés can be a lot of fun. If you and your friends are in the mood for a marathon full of dirty jokes guaranteed to put you in touch with your high school self, look no further.

Some other suggestions are “Indiana Jones,” “X-men,” “Jaws,” “The Godfather,” “Major League” and the “Naked Gun” movies.

These movies are by no means the only ones you can watch. If you can sit through it and still be enjoying it after six-plus hours, go for it.

Naturally, I don’t suggest you spend the whole break indoors watching movies, but when the weather outside is frightful, it sure beats studying.

Steve Shinney is the Diversions editor and really doesn’t have anything better to do. Send comments to

steveshinney@cc.usu.edu