“Superhero Movie”
I really don’t see any point to going out to watch “Superhero Movie” when you can just watch the funny parts (Old Granny gets pushed into a wood chipper, kid gets shot with a nail gun) on the preview. With the other 89 minutes you will save, you could get started on a really fun project, like pruning the roses or redoing the grout in the bathroom.
These parody movies come out every few months. I don’t know if they are funny because I have never been to see one and I don’t ever read movie reviews. It’s a principle – I won’t watch a movie with the word “movie” in it’s title. The anti-movie review thing is also a highly principled stance. I refuse to take the advice of some jerk I have never met on what movie to watch. The assumption is always that you are going to watch some movie this weekend, even if they all suck. You just need the help of a qualified expert to help you decide which bucket of filth to stick your head in.
The film reviewers watch too many movies. They have become inured to the overall level of shoddiness which pervades nearly every film Hollywood sends down the chute. This is your average movie reviewer: “Ooh, another vehicle for Owen Wilson! I rank it two stars, because it’s an abomination to the human race, but less so than the other movies that came out this weekend.” Those guys need some real-life experiences. Why not go throw empty bottles into traffic? Or go into a crowded bar and punch a stranger in the face.
I pre-emptively hate this movie.
-graham.terry@aggiemail.usu.edu