Preemptive Critic: Nov. 21, 2008
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‘Twilight’ |
“Twilight” has arrived and the female population is ready to adore. This movie based on a book series will leave fans wanting more. “But what the heck is ‘Twilight?'” My friends request. “It’s the next Harry Potter fad,” I guessed. I’ve never read the books, but I get the gist. “Twilight” is about teenage love with a twist. The girl is a human and the boy is a vampire. True love that any soap opera can admire. So then, “Twilight” is nothing more than a chick flick, right? I’ll put it this way, my mom reads the books every night. But perhaps I’m wrong, maybe there will be a few action scenes. Hopefully those not involving teenage boys in tight-fitting jeans. Joking aside, this could be a good flick. As long as the story doesn’t sink like a brick. Because we all know vampires are cool. Especially the ones that stay in school. So if you want to see the latest feature. Head downtown to the local theater. Vampire love is sure to be the highlight. I pre-emptively love “Twilight.” –tim.russell@aggiemail.usu.edu |
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‘Four Christmases’ |
Any movie with Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon and tons of other A-list comedians is destined to be a great flick, and I anticipate to laugh myself stupid with this one.
The film is about a live-in couple who attempts to avoid spending Christmas with their highly dysfunctional family, only to have their Fiji-destined flight canceled Christmas morning. Between the two of them, they must visit all four parents, who are all separated, making it a chaotic and absolutely horrible Christmas for them. But as I’ve come to discover, the more miserable the circumstances are for the character, the more enjoyable I find the movie – I know, it’s kind of twisted. But who wouldn’t want to see a movie where his brothers, who are both trained UFC fighters, pummel Vince Vaughn or see Reese Witherspoon suffer the turmoil of being stuck in a child’s blowup jumping castle? I must admit, however, the true appeal of this movie is the comedy of Vince Vaughn. All of his costars are extremely funny and talented, but there isn’t one movie of his that hasn’t had me on the floor rolling in tears of laughter. I just hope I can stay in my seat during the movie. I am pre-emptively laughing at this movie which means only one thing – it’s a winner. –greg.boyles@aggiemail.usu.edu |
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‘Bolt’ |
There is no need for me to even watch the preview to determine that “Bolt” will be a cheesy, obnoxious and desperate movie. Why? Simple. It’s because Miley Cyrus is the voice of Bolt’s tender-hearted owner, Penny. Any movie in which I have to listen to her high-pitched, twangy accent is automatically thrown off my “must see” movie list.
Too bad, because “Bolt” actually looked promising. Oh wait, that was “Madagascar 2” I was thinking of. These days it’s hard to distinguish between the avalanche of bad animated movies that are being spoon fed to children; however, there are some defining characteristics. The first being an overbearing and clumsy, but lovable, animal of some sort. Cue John Travolta as the voice of Bolt, a dog who thinks he is a superhero. Next, the movie must have an equally annoying sidekick with a silly quirk. In this case it’s the hamster who, hilariously enough, is stuck inside a plastic rolling ball. I can only imagine the jokes that will ensue. Add a dash of juvenile slapstick humor and you have yourself a certified generic Disney movie, this time called “Bolt.” If you couldn’t tell, I pre-emptively hate this movie.
–amanda.m@aggiemail.usu.edu |