COLUMN: Halloween the USU way
It snowed, it blew, it froze for two straight days, but the nurses, prostitutes, angels, naked tuxedo boys, boxing ring girl (boy) and shirtless firefighters refused to be defeated by the weather.
They persevered, they took one for the team and sacrificed their own comfort for the sake of entertaining Howl-goers everywhere. On behalf of all who thought, “Oh no, it’s snowing, what about the hookers and Chippendale’s dancers? Will the Howl not live up to its reputation this year?” I thank you for your dedication and strong will to uphold all that we know the Howl to be.
I feel that on behalf of all costume wearers, a few more thank you’s need to be issued for making Halloween at USU possible. Gratitude and the utmost thanks should be extended to Deseret Industries for providing the vast majority of students with a slightly-used second-hand Halloween costume at a fair price. I was especially thrilled to find that some of the items I purchased had a pink mark on the tag that made them 50 percent off, such as my good-as-new fanny pack for an unbeatable 12 cents. My one complaint for DI would be the inconsistency of the pricing. Why did my light pink high heels cost almost 42 times as much as my fanny pack? Really, $5 for shoes straight out of 1984 that butchered my feet … I find that a little steep. But then again, I did look good in them. Also, we should all remember that even small donations bless many nations.
Utah’s black mesh industry deserves credit for adding a key look to almost any prostitute or ’80s girl’s ensemble. If I would have known the popularity of the otherwise useless material, I would definitely have bought stock in the black mesh industry. I have never witnessed, nor do I hope to ever again witness that much black mesh in one night used in so many different ways.
I’ll admit I wasn’t so sure about going to the Howl until about the day before. Multiple people, obviously trying to sabotage a great Halloween experience, told me how scandalous and terrible it was with everyone drunk and wearing only bubble wrap. Obviously, I wasn’t deterred by this, and I went only to find that most people were fully clothed and sober, but I didn’t let that stop me from enjoying my night … just kidding.
Hearing things like that and finding out that the Logan LDS Institute even made a more family-friendly version called the Scream, were some of the things that could have potentially scared off the few people looking for some good, clean fun. The Scream shielded those who went from the horrors of way-too-small Speedo boy, the Victoria’s Secret angels, and the ever-popular “I’m not even going to pretend to have an actual costume, I just want to dress like a prostitute” outfit. I’m not sure how tough the screening process was to get into the Scream, but I’m pretty sure “free-mammograms boy” would have been sent back to the Howl.
Well, wherever you spent your Friday night, I’d say Halloween at USU turned out to be a positive experience for all. Good wholesome fun could be found while playing a big game of Twister at the Scream or shaking it like a Polaroid picture at the Fieldhouse; I just hope no one got a free mammogram.
Lindsay Kite is a freshman majoring in print journalism. With questions, comments, or if you are all still angry about the Utah hair column, contact lindsaykite@cc.usu.edu.