COLUMN: Interviewing tip – Make it unforgettable
At about this time in the semester there are a couple of things you should be thinking.
First, why did I come back from Spring Break?
Second, why didn’t I do all the homework I had planned to do over Spring Break?
Third, is it still possible to drop my class and save my transcript from disaster?
Fourth, what kind of job can I get over the summer that will help pay for the extra schooling I’m going to have to take to make up for my lost class(es)?
As you can see it is never too early to think about summer, especially after Spring Break, and especially when it comes to summer employment. That is where I can help.
When you are literally one in hundreds or even thousands of applicants, you need to stick out. There are many ways of doing this with your resume alone, such as dipping it in cologne or perfume, making it so it will spontaneously burst into flames and writing it out in 100 percent Chinese characters, but I’m going to move on towards giving advice for making a lasting impression during the interviewing process.
First things first: Presentation. I would suggest going into the interview with a swimsuit and sombrero on. All the other applicants will most likely be wearing dreary and forgettable suits or dresses.
Next give your interviewer a high five. Interviewers are always shaking hands and this will certainly be a change of pace (a “dude” or “rock on” could accompany the high five, though that is left to your discretion).
For the chatty portion of the interview, before the real questions, say that you hate with euphoric passion everything that your interviewer likes. I don’t doubt that they get tired of everyone having something in common with them. Then once the conversation gets really awkward, you can finish off the chatty portion of your interview with constant, “That’s none of your business” remarks.
The most important part of you actually getting the job, however, occurs once the actual interview questions begin. While I cannot predict exactly what the interview questions will be, I can tell you the types of phrases you need to include in your answers in order to distinguish yourself from the other job candidates. I’ve listed them in no particular order below:
“I am not really a people person. I consider myself mainly an inanimate object person – I have an excellent rapport with most staplers and some hole punchers.”
“I am incapable of motivating myself. I need to be motivated at all times.”
“I shirk from duties whenever possible. I can honestly say that I have no work ethic, what-so-ever.”
“I have a very negative attitude toward the people I work with, specifically those in authority over me.”
“I don’t pay attention much to details. I’m more of a ‘do the least amount to get the job done, cut all the corners that I can’ person.”
“I really take an inactive approach toward getting a task accomplished. I like to see if I can weasel somebody else into doing it.”
“You could probably use the word ‘unenthusiastic’ to best describe my approach toward working – though ‘sloppy’ and ‘undependable’ are some close seconds.”
I don’t know that I’ve ever given so much potent advice before in one column. But if you are still doubtful, let me offer you the following “Marty Reeder Guarantee”: I promise you that if you employ the above-mentioned methods in your interviewing process, you will create a memorable impression on the person conducting the interview. Whether the person will hire you on the spot or call for security is another matter, but hey, I don’t pay attention much to details.
Marty Reeder is a senior majoring in history education. Comments or sombrero orders can be sent to martr@cc.usu.edu.