OUR VIEW: Drowsy driving just as bad and common as drunken driving

We’ve seen our fair share of irresponsible college students nodding off on the road at 1 a.m. In fact, we sometimes wonder if certain drivers’ eyes are open while cruising around campus in broad daylight.

    Male drivers are the cause of twice as many drowsy driving accidents as females. One second he will be saying, “No, no, I’m fine. I’m not even that tired,” and the next second your front end is barrelling into oncoming traffic. The odds of survival don’t look good.

    The truth is that approximately 1,500 people died last year because someone on the road would not pull over to take a power nap. Be prepared. Take a pillow and blanket with you to toss in the backseat so that sleeping in your car won’t sound so unappealing.

    Utah drivers are their own breed of wacko, and seeing that Utah residents cannot drive regardless of the sleep deprivation, we would rather they didn’t fall asleep on us as well.

    In our effort to stay alive, here are some quick tips from us on how to refrain from napping while operating the deadly weapon that is your vehicle.

    In a highly-concentrated LDS community, we know there are those who restrict caffeine-infused beverages from their diets, which we respect. However, those who need their Diet Coke fix every day are highly encouraged to cure their droopy eyes behind the wheel and “Do the Dew.” Suck back a few bottles of high fructose corn syrup and other ghastly chemicals, and that may save you and your vehicle a lot of trouble and may even keep you out of a ditch.

    If you are not willing to risk your health to stay awake behind the wheel, perhaps you should make sure to drive with a friend, or even better, your mom – preferably someone who has bad anxiety about driving at night or driving in general. They will keep you in check, and may even take over when you are having a hard time staying awake.

    Our best suggestion is, of course, stay off the road. If you doubt that you will be able to keep your eyes open for even a second, please don’t endanger humankind. Killing someone while driving does not comply with Charles Darwin’s survival of the fittest, and you are not justified for your negligent actions.