COLUMN: ‘Jade Scorpion’ is a neurotic surprise

Bryce Casselman

Woody Allen has always seemed somewhat of an enigma to me. He’s small, not very attractive by Hollywood’s standards and has a voice that is not exactly up to par with the Sean Connerys and James Earl Joneses of the world.

Because of these things, I have spent most of my life avoiding Woody Allen movies, even though I have watched and read many interviews with actors who have worked with Allen where they call him a genius. I have also caught many parts of Allen’s movies while channel surfing, but never stuck it out long enough to catch any plot and little dialogue.

So it was with little enthusiasm I sauntered into the darkened theater, popcorn in hand, to see The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, Allen’s latest work.

What I found was some of the best written dialogue I have ever encountered. It was funny, it was cleaver and almost elegant. Most of the best dialogue occurs between Allen (Picking up the Pieces, Small-Time Crooks) and Helen Hunt (What Women Want, Castaway). The clothes and sets need to be mentioned also, they were lush and rich for this period piece.

Much of Allen’s skill and maturity in writing comes through in the plot. I found myself being led through the story without a single plot hole in sight and was so enthralled by the events unfolding before me that I completely forgot about Allen’s verbal barrage of incomplete thoughts and phrases that makes him so easy to impersonate and kept me away from his films for so long.

There was also a huge array of seasoned actors that made this film a success like Dan Aykroyd (Evolution), Wallace Shawn (The Prime Gig) and Charlize Theron (Sweet November).

The only curse this movie will bring to those that watch it is a perfect, comedic trance from which I awoke refreshed and laughing my butt off.