OUR VIEW: Quit your Valentine’s Day blubbering
Eat your hearts out Utah State. It’s time to gorge yourself with chocolate, just because you can, and whine about the love affair you don’t have.
While you assure everyone around you that Valentine’s Day is a useless holiday for squares, we will have our fingers in our ears and sing loudly.
Now, there are a handful of us that have significant others, whether we are dating someone, engaged or tied the knot. There are also a handful of us living the single life, which proves to have its major perks. Dating a different person every weekend? Yes, please.
Like everything else in life, Valentine’s Day is what you make of it. You can choose to be the person that locks yourself in your room with a box of See’s candy, weeping at every passionate kiss in “Sleepless in Seattle.” You can also choose to be the person that pops the heart-shaped balloon your friend received from his or her significant other.
Best of all, you can act as though you forgot the day existed and waste away in a computer lab watching pointless YouTube videos, though you promised yourself you would start on that essay.
If your Valentine’s Day plans are non-existent, please do us a favor and make some for yourself. It would be a shame to not take advantage of all the restaurant specials around town. It would be tragic to neglect the seasonal Valentine’s Day candy, complete with themed cardboard love notes. Our favorite this year are the Muppets cards. One tender card shows the Muppets character Animal, shouting as usual.
“AAAHH! AAAHH! VALENTINE!”
Everyone deserves a special note like this. We suggest you address a box of Valentine’s cards to no one — if you don’t have any friends — and hand them out at random to anyone who seems to be as bitter as you are.
Classically, Valentine’s Day is for saps and suckers, swooning and smooching, but who cares about stereotypes these days? It’s so cool to be the individual these days — right, all you hipsters? Because we live in the modern world, you should be able to transform Valentine’s Day into whatever you want.
We submit that you devote this Valentine’s Day to showing yourself some love. Splurge a little. Buy yourself a new pair of shoes. Take an extra long shower. Go into a sugar coma. If you have someone to show you some love, well, good for you. We hope they remember.
To all the single ladies and gents, please let go of your love grudges. In our minds, Valentine’s Day was established to express the existence of love. This is why your parents still feel the need to send you a Valentine’s Day card.