COLUMN: Balance between a career and motherhood
I love boys and I love to date, but I hate it when it comes to the question, “What is your major?”
For some reason I begin to feel automatic judgment before I have even answered. Now, I understand this is partially because of my own insecurities and partially because of the reactions I have received from boys in the past. In my mind, an eternity passes before I answer. I have already jumped ahead, thinking how to answer their reaction. In reality, it is just a second before I answer, “Anthropology.”
And then it comes. The pause and reaction, “Oh … what do you want to do with that?”
This is the $1 million question. What do I want to do with my degree? As a senior, I have been able to polish my answer as if I have to defend why I am not a business major or why I am not going to be a school teacher. I chose a liberal arts degree where the possibilities of what I can do are endless, these are “degrees to everywhere.”
What I really want to do is something that I am afraid to admit on the first date. I want to become a mother and wife. Why can’t I say that? You may wonder. Well, I feel that women are in a precarious situation.
If I were to say, “Oh, all I really want is to have babies,” there would be a negative reaction, and if I were to say, “I want to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company,” I would not only get a negative reaction but witness the stereotype that women do not belong in the executive suite.
On one end, I am going to scare the guy off because it is the first date, and he will think I want to marry him. On the other end, I will scare the guy off because I am too ambitious, too driven, and appear to be more focused on accomplishing my goals in addition to raising a family. Now, I understand that I am making generalizations here, but I feel that with every generalization there is truth behind it. I perceive that women are in a lose-lose situation.
In today’s society women have it hard because of how the world perceives them. Now, I know what you are thinking — “Oh no, not another crazy feminist,” but I am not a crazy feminist, I am just bringing some things to light that are very relevant in a woman’s everyday life.
The example I gave above is one of the many perceptions men have of women. Women are viewed as sex symbols — judged by their beauty and not taken seriously — the list goes on and on.
As a young girl I was aware of the inequalities that women face. When I was in the fifth grade, I wanted to be the first female president of the United States. I was fascinated by suffragettes, such as Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. The Western states, such as Utah and Wyoming, were the first to give women the right to vote. I looked up to women like Eleanor Roosevelt and Mother Teresa. I grew up in an environment where I was encouraged and supported by both my mother and father to achieve my dreams, whatever they may be.
I soon learned the environment I grew up in did not represent the world at large. I found there are many girls who weren’t as lucky as me, having encouragement and support from my friends and family. They grew up thinking the value of a woman was based on how pretty or skinny she was, not what was in her brain and how she could articulate her opinion.
So what is the whole point of this piece? I want women to realize the potential they have and believe in themselves — whatever their dreams and goals may be. Whatever your dream may be, make a plan, accomplish it and do it to the best of your ability. Women are capable of being leaders in the home, school, government and workforce. For me, I want to be a mother someday and give back to the community. When I came to college I had a dream to change the world, and this is just one way that I will. If I examine my life through today’s lens, I would be able to list off many things that I have already done to impact the world.