COLUMN: I’ll take coffee, thanks
Has anyone sat back and wondered, at least recently, about the complete compost-pile that our country has become?
Daily we are bombarded by pathos-skewed rhetoric in an attempt to sway our irrational, emotional selves into action without serious thought to consequence, or even an in-depth analysis of what is argued.
One pundit that has rapidly grown in popularity favors strong emotional argument, without a lot of rationality to back up her own arguments, is Sarah Palin.
From Mrs. Palin we receive lectures about what “real America” wants. And here I always thought I was real enough. I suppose that the philosophy of “I think, therefore, I am” doesn’t apply in this new world logic.
This, naturally, begs the question: “What is a real American?”
According to Sarah Palin, who is generally given credit for coining the phrase in recent times, a real American is someone that:
1. Farms
2. Lives in a small town
3. Teaches small children (sorry professors, you are more of the elitist types that are destroying the country)
4. Fights in a war
Geography and vocation can’t be the only thing that makes a person a real American. If that were the case, Mrs. Palin herself – being a beauty-queen-turned-political-failure who, to the extent of my knowledge, has never fought in a war – would be considered fake.
After all, if that were true, only a select few cities – and the whole state of Idaho – could be considered part of real America.
There must be another way to find out who in this country is actually real. After all, it would be rash to assume that Sarah Palin doesn’t really understand all of what she is saying when she says it.
Let’s look to those who Mrs. Palin has specifically endorsed or condemned.
Endorsed: Dr. Laura and her First Amendment right to freedom of speech. For those of you unaware of the issue, Dr. Laura used the “n” word several times during one of her programs, and has been avidly supported recently by Mrs. Palin, especially over Twitter.
Palin tweets, “Dr.Laura: don’t retreat…reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend. rights ceased 2exist thx 2 activists trying 2 silence…” and again, “Dr.Laura = even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice, America!”
Despite the fact that her argument is about as stable as decades-old dynamite – yes, I can use violent metaphors, too – let us, for one second, keep this in mind as her criteria for a real American.
So. Number five on the list of what makes a real American: must uphold the constitution in all of its various aspects.
With this last criterion, I think we have it complete … except for the fact that even Sarah Palin, under this criteria, still would not qualify as a real American.
Condemned: Just a short time ago Mrs. Palin tweeted to those who supported the mosque being put up at Ground Zero.
She tweets “Peace-seeking Muslims, pls understand, Ground Zero mosque is UNNECESSARY provocation; it stabs hearts. Pls reject it in interest of healing”.
While I hate to be nit-picky, I have to question the logic here.
Last I checked freedom of religion, and the inability of the government to interfere in its practices, is an important part of the constitution. If I remember correctly, one of the reasons so many came to America was for the freedom of religion it offered. In fact, it is in the very same amendment that Mrs. Palin used in order to defend Dr. Laura.
Side note: Why is it unnecessary provocation to build a place of worship somewhere, but not unnecessary provocation to use the “n” word on a program wherein a person calling in to describe how that word offends her?)
I suppose I just don’t understand.
Unfortunately for myself, and half of the rest of America who swing a little more left than right (or anyone in a metropolitan area for that matter), we just do not have the luxury of being “real Americans” any longer.
Our right to that has been revoked – do I need to fear being deported?
And if we are not real, what are we?
Have we ceased to exist all together? Or are we merely separated from the nation and being forced to become a new one altogether?
From the way pundits – on all sides – carry on, you would suppose that we have become two separate nations: those who are right, true and, most importantly, American, form the United States; and those who fall short of the mark are becoming depraved socialist, “fascist,” freedom- hating, Nazi-resembling … fake Americans?
I guess I’m still having a hard time figuring out the opposite of a real American.
Ben Zaritsky is a senior majoring in Print Journalism.