COLUMN: ‘No man can serve two masters’
It is impossible for the true sports fan to like two colleges in one state. There is a biblical phrase that says it best, “No man can serve two masters.”
Stop with the sacrilegious chants and read on.
Each university in Utah has something to offer the college sports fan. There are people out there who will say it is okay to cheer for all the universities in your particular state, even if they are rivals. To that I say, rubbish!
You have to pick a college and stick with it. I have often heard demented individuals say, “Well, I like BYU football and Utah basketball.” I would rather hear obscenities about my mother than that nonsense. Sorry Mom.
There is no picking and choosing as to which sports from which colleges you will support. If you like a college’s basketball team, you also have to like its other teams. This principle is most applicable at the in-state level.
This principle is hard for some of us to grasp. Much of our student body is made up of Utah natives. When we move to Utah State we sometimes bring with us strong ties to other in-state schools. Some of us are able to quickly loosen those ties and make new fan loyalties to Utah State. For others it takes months. Sadly, I believe there are still Utah State students who have not been converted to Aggie athletics.
It is obvious that BYU and the University of Utah are the two other schools that compete for our student body’s attention. Why?
BYU only has something to cheer about every couple of years. Though BYU fans will tell you they are a national powerhouse year in and year out. BYU does have a loyal fan base. Most of that fan base was born before the invention of the automobile, but they are loyal. The most loyal group of fans is the Cougar Club.
This is the group of fans that will not tolerate any standing up during the game. These gray-haired people will yell, “Sit down, I can’t see!” They can’t see because they are legally blind, not because someone is standing in front of them. Don’t try and apologize to one of them either. They won’t hear you. The deafening sounds of KSL 1160 are being poured into their ears from a personal Walkman.
BYU struck gold with Lavell Edwards, but its coaches of late have been far less successful. Gary Crowton might be the most hated man in Provo ,besides the devil. Steve Cleveland brought a basketball program out of the toilet but consistently underachieves with great teams. If there are students on our campus that remain true to BYU because of its coaches, I’m not so sure we want them as fans.
University of Utah fans are a breed all their own. They exist because of hate. Most Utah fans are Utah fans because they hate BYU. Secret Utah fans on campus, don’t play dumb, you know it is true.
Hate prohibits the Utah fan from learning about the schools particular teams. They are content just knowing they hate BYU. The average Utah fan cares little about statistics or who plays on the teams. Utah fans have limited sports knowledge but their repertoire of insults is limitless.
It would seem attending sporting events is a burden to the Utah fan. It’s no secret that Utah struggles to sell tickets, especially among the student body. If Utah is so good at everything why can’t they sell out even once a year? A common excuse is that Utah is a commuter school so students don’t get very involved in athletics. The truth is, Utah fans only go to games when BYU is the opponent.
We could bash these two schools all day. I’ll be honest, often times I do. The fact is, some students on our campus care more about the Utes or Cougars than they do the Aggies. To help those students overcome their misguided ways I have pointed out some harsh but true things about our rivals.
What about the positive things at our school?
At Utah State students have the opportunity to feel like they are a part of the team. Whatever team it may be. Fans mean something to the players out there competing. Coaches and players are always quick to thank the fans for their support.
Speaking of coaches, jump for joy that we have Coach Stew Morrill. What a legend! Who doesn’t love to see Stew work that sideline. We are very lucky to have him as a coach. I think he is the only man on the planet that can yell over the Spectrum crowd.
Our crowds are amazing. The Spectrum has never been an easy place for opponents to play. The Spectrum crowd helped the Aggies beat Utah last season and BYU this season. I was a visiting spectator at that Utah game last year. I was debating where to go to college at the time, but after that game I knew I had to go to Utah State. I witnessed true fans doing great things at that game. One guy held up a deranged picture of Michael Jackson when the Utes where shooting free throws. I wet my pants laughing. I was completely won over, however, by the Scotsman.
There is not a finer cheer in all of sports.
We have the best air-ball chant in the nation. We have the crazy guy that sells T-shirts. We have the Golden Girls (don’t act like you don’t know who I am talking about). We have amazing student athletes. We have great coaches. We have the cutest girls in the state. Okay, that last one wasn’t sports related but it’s true.
These should be the best fan years of your life. You can be a sports fan your whole life but you can only be a student fan for a couple of years, unless you’re the T-shirt guy. Your college experience will be less memorable if you don’t enjoy these great athletic moments.
To all wavering Utah State students I say, chose you this day whom ye will serve. As for me and my yellow house, we will serve the Aggies.
Branigan Knowlton is a junior majoring in public relations. Comments can be sent to bknowlt@cc.usu.edu