Pre-emptive Critics
Lakeview Terrace
“Love thy neighbor.” Apparently Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) never got the memo.
In the thriller “Lakeview Terrace,” Jackson plays a racist cop who fights with his new interracial neighbors, played by the part of Patrick Wilson (Hard Candy) and Kerry Washington (The Last King of Scotland).
Seriously, how do people come up with this stuff? A movie about an annoying neighbor doesn’t sound like a thriller, it sounds like a drama or comedy.
*an actual conversation with the writers*
“Hey Fred, wouldn’t it be freaky if Samuel L. Jackson was really Wilson from ‘Home Improvement?’ And instead of him being nice, he was actually bat-eating insane?”
“Tom, that sounds to me like a million dollar idea. Now pass the taquitos.”
Admit it – living next to Samuel L. Jackson would be pretty cool. For example, eating hamburgers with him at a barbecue would bring back all kinds of nostalgia towards “Pulp Fiction.” Or I could even dress up like a Jedi and play light saber battles with him in my backyard. What? Don’t judge me.
I’ll give the writers credit though. Purposely placing this movie in the wrong genre could provide for a unique story. Just imagine all of the great movies we’re missing out on by playing it safe. I’m just waiting for Hollywood to realize that there’s money to be made in a musical version of “Saving Private Ryan.”
And besides, I think it would be fair to say a lot of USU students can relate to “Lakeview Terrace.” After all, insane roommates and neighbors are a crucial part of the college learning experience. For those who can’t relate, “Lakeview Terrace” might be what you’re missing.
I preemptively hate this movie.
Igor
Igor, a hideous an deformed creature, dreams that someday he will be judged not by his appearance, but by his inner beauty. Boy, can I relate. I think we’ve all been there, haven’t we? And what have we learned? Dream on, little Igor, dream on…
Fortunately for little Igor, he doesn’t live in the same world we do and his wish will probably come true. He will get his shot and even if he totally blows it, he and his mishap friends will still save the world and Igor will be named hero of the universe… or whatever they call it in his fairytale land.
I picture the whole thing as the kiddy version of “Frankenstein.” Instead of all the death and “kill the beast talk,” the beast will simply be misunderstood for the first three quarters of the film, and at the end be accepted by most of the other monsters. Then he can go on a talk show and tell all the other monster children that it’s OK to be different.
No matter what happens, just remember it will all work out. Which is why this movie is rated PG, considered family friendly and a winner in my book. I can always use a two-hour escape from reality. Throw in a few good one-liners from John Cusack, whether the kiddies understand them or not, and I’ll be happy.
I pre-emptily like this movie.