Opinion Column: Offensive approach important and effective
One night last week, around midnight, I was over at a friend’s apartment with a bunch of girls just hanging out when the doorbell rang. One of the girls opened the door and found no one there. Thinking someone was just doorbell ditching, my friend went to see if she could spot the perpetrator, and she did. It was a big guy with a scary mask on that creeped out at her from behind a shadowed concrete wall. She screamed, which caused one of the other girls to slam the door, leaving my friend outside to fend for herself. Thankfully, it wasn’t a real attack – just someone claiming to be out out trying to spread safety awareness during this dangerous time of year, but the incident made me wonder how well women are prepared to deal with similar situations.
According to the Utah Commission on Criminal and Juvenile Justice, one in three women in Utah will experience some form of sexual violence in her lifetime. One in eight will be raped. This is not a subject that can be spoken about in whispers behind closed doors anymore. It’s something real, something scary and something every woman, young and old, needs to be aware of – especially at college age.
Now, we have all heard the hype about sexual assault safety. We know the rules. Don’t go out with people you don’t know. Make sure there are people you trust around. Don’t walk alone at night if you can help it, and if you can’t, keep your eyes open, walk in lit places have your keys ready and so on. It’s easy to let that stuff go in one ear and out the other – we hear it all the time. But we need to realize that this kind of offensive approach, ways to help prevent rape and sexual assault, is what keeps people the safest. Above any kind of defense, it is always better to not get in a bad situation in the first place. Let me give an example.
As a freshman entering college, I felt kind of naïve in the self defense area. When I left for school, my mother had equipped me with a small flashlight to put on my keychain and instructions to use it if I was ever attacked. Nothing against my mother, but even with the flashlight, I still didn’t feel protected. So I signed up for a self-defense class that taught me many valuable things about keeping yourself safe – like how to block attacks, what to do if someone pins you down and how to let loose a punch that has the most potential of doing some damage. After that class, I felt empowered. I had no reason to fear. I was sure I had the best chance of beating anything that came my way.
Sometime down the road however, I found myself in a bad situation. Some guy thought it was okay to handle me in a way I didn’t find appropriate, and he wasn’t taking no and goodbye for an answer. I panicked and randomly started searching my brain for a solution to my problem. To my dismay, all the karate was gone – every block, every punch, every kick – vanished. The only thing I manage to find was one of those safety tips I’d heard all my life: Find someone you trust. And I did. That was my roommate and she rescued me before anything horrid could happen.
When I got home that evening, I felt almost ashamed because I had forgotten everything I had learned about defending myself and someone else had to come and rescue me. In looking back, however, I’ve realized, in truth, I didn’t really forget the important things. I had followed the basic principles. I had gone out with people I knew and trusted and that simple safety practice is really what saved me.
I’m not knocking karate or any other types of self defense. I still believe they are important to learn and good to know. In fact, I’m still learning and practicing what I’ve learned in hopes that, if a time comes when I need it, I will be able to go Jackie Chan on my attacker and get away fairly unscathed. But now, going into my junior year and being a bit more informed about sexual assault than I was as a freshman, I have taken a more offensive position on self defense, and think other women would be wise to do the same.