MUSIC REVIEW: Sera’s debut album is one bad CD
Let me start by saying I’ve had a pretty rough week. Jake, the features editor at The Statesman, must be some kind of musical masochist. He has inflicted considerable pain upon me by giving me pop artist Sera’s self-titled debut to listen to and review. You’ve probably never heard of her, and I doubt you ever will again.
Sera matches the cookie-cutter design of so many pop artists who have dominated MTV and the Top 40 for the past five years. She has a sugar-coated voice and ridiculous lyrics to match it.
Take, for example, song two: “I’m the Girl You Need.” While trying to convince a guy she’s the girl for him, she says the following, “I’ve been watching you for a long time, and I think my picture really fits your frame. And if you can’t see a good thing, let me go to the extreme and show you what I’m trying to say.”
But I guess it’s better than “Backstreet’s back alright.” Like so many other pop songs, this one is void of substance. It never gets to a point where the listener can take it seriously.
Song four has the same problem. In the supposed-to-be-inspirational “Starting Over,” she sings, “I’m starting over. There’s a rainbow in the sky for me” and then continues with a slew of other “uplifting” clichés.
“That’s what you get for loving me – my heart, soul, everything,” are the tactful lyrics on track six, “That’s What You Get.” How can I take this seriously when I hear the same repetitive synthesizer beat on every song?
In fact, that’s what’s really wrong with this CD. The lyrics are bad, but a lot of songs have bad lyrics. It’s the instrumentals that kill this album, what few instrumentals there are. Of the 12 songs on this disk, only six have an actual instrument: the guitar.
One song, “I Like the Way,” goes the extra mile with two guitars. The rest of the songs are composed by a keyboardist named Grip and a drum programmer named Sa-Ra. But it’s painfully obvious they’re not actually playing any instruments, they’re just programming.
On “All About the Way,” the synthesizers get really ambitious, but they still don’t fool me. I know it’s not real music.
So, in other words, I didn’t like this album. My friends made fun of me for listening to it, which is understandable. I would have done the same to them if they had brought home this piece of audio rubbish.
Now, if you have already been suckered into buying this album by the attractive blonde with stringy hair on the cover, take heart. I have come up with some alternative forms of entertainment for this CD.
One: You can take it out on the Quad after class and throw it around. CDs actually make pretty good Frisbees.
Two: You can use it to really annoy someone across the room by reflecting the sunlight into their eyes.
Three: You can break it up into little pieces and glue it to a basketball and make a really good mirror ball. This one’s my personal favorite because it involves the destruction of this CD.
Perhaps I’ve been a little harsh. But to me, this album represents so much of what is wrong with the music industry today: lack of creativity, weak song writing and no appreciation for real musicians.
If you still think you’d like to give the CD a try, be my guest. I’m all for people making up their own minds about music. But I promise you that you’ll be looking for that hot glue gun after about five minutes of listening.
Jared Quillen is junior majoring in accounting. Comments can be sent to jaredquillen@cc.usu.edu
Grade: F
Jared is a junior majoring in accounting. Comments can be sent to jaredquillen@cc.usu.edu