COLUMN: Don’t base self-esteem on Valentine’s Day
I know I’m a little early, but I’ve decided that it is better to address this issue before the 14th actually gets here. I hope that I will be able to enlighten all you love-deluded souls as to the evils of Valentine’s Day and give a little hope to those of you who choose to call the 14th of February “Single Awareness Day.”
The story of Valentine’s Day comes from fifth century Rome. Mid-February was traditionally the time of the Lupercian festival, an ode to the god of fertility and a celebration of sensual pleasure, a time to meet and court a prospective mate.
In AD 496, Pope Gelasius outlawed the pagan festival. But he was clever to replace it with a similar celebration, although one deemed morally suitable. He needed a “lovers” saint to replace the pagan deity Lupercus.
The martyred Bishop Valentine was chosen as the patron saint of the new festival. St. Valentine had been beheaded for helping young lovers marry against the wishes of the mad emperor Claudius. Before execution, Valentine himself had fallen in love with his jailer’s daughter. He signed his final note to her, “From Your Valentine,” a phrase that has lasted through the centuries.
OK, now that that’s clear, let’s talk about the consumerism harlot that the day of love has become. So many people place an unhealthy amount of personal significance on whether or not they have a significant other for Valentine’s. It’s just another way corporate America has purchased your psyche through advertising.
And to all you people who have actually found a hand to hold in public that is not your own, you’re a puppet, you don’t need a designated day to tell your current partner how much they mean to you. Well, unless you’re a male – a straight male anyway.
Think about it, once a year men are expected to remember to get flowers for their special lady friends. That’s a lot of commitment. That’s one of the main reasons men are so apprehensive to get married because that means they would have to remember not one, but two days that they would have to get flowers for their love.
And women, would you please put the Cosmo down and pay attention to this next bit. Reading those magazines will not get you that special someone and will not teach you how to trick your man into getting you that ultimate Valentine’s Day weekend you’ve always wanted. It only teaches you to manipulate men, which is the last thing we want.
If you truly want to have a happy Valentine’s Day, then forget about the 14th of February. If you happen to be the type of person that is romantically inclined, then do something for your significant other on a day that you don’t have to be reminded to do something for them. It would mean a lot more than going all out on the day some pope decided to celebrate the martyrdom of a bishop named Valentine, some 1,500 years ago.
And if you’re single, then celebrate your singleness and find a day to treat yourself for being you. You should be one of the most important people you know. I know I sure am. Out of all the years I’ve been involved in or been a witness of Valentine’s Day, do you want to know the one irrevocable truth I’ve discovered? It’s that I am, in fact, a man trapped outside of women’s bodies.
Take control; don’t let society or some dead pope dictate to you when you should commemorate your better half or yourself. People like to claim a sense of individuality. If you’re one of those people, tell Valentine and his day to go softly into that good night and create your own love day.