Sports movies I’d like to see

Some of the movies I want to see haven’t been filmed yet. Many that I have seen – many, many others – are just way too predictable.

It seems sports movies are some of the most predictable. You know – the proverbial films chronicling an underdog team that wins some kind of championship. I’m tired of that genre. I demand some sports movies with unexpected plot twists.

Two of my favorite sports movies of all time, “The Natural” and “Little Big League,” are not the run-of-the-mill sports movies. Each has its own little plot twist(s).

I thought this week, in honor of The Sundance Film Festival, I’d devise some movies that I would love to see, though, chances are extremely good I won’t. But here goes a few anyway – just for kicks and giggles:

“Clash of the Lakers” – While recovering from a serious injury (such as a torn ACL), Kobe Bryant watches game film of himself and realizes how much of a whiner/egotist/ball-hog he is, prompting him to reform and quit the game of basketball for fear he will relapse into his old self. At the same time Shaquille O’Neal gets into serious altercations with the Lakers’ front office, is released from the team and as a result of his high salary demands is not signed by another NBA franchise. The Clippers soon become the dominant NBA team in Los Angeles.

“Incoming Fogies” – In an effort to augment declining attendance, Jazz personnel call Thurl Bailey, Darrell Griffith and Mark Eaton out of retirement for one season. The plan backfires as attendance continues to decline and the Jazz lose to the Dallas Mavericks in the first round of the playoffs. Despite the playoff debacle, Bailey, Griffith and Eaton see their comeback as a moral victory. Unable to handle the windfall of yet another disappointing season, Larry Miller sells the Jazz to a group of Salt Lake investors headed by Mayor Rocky Anderson.

“The Battle of New Orleans” – Documentary chronicling two NFL teams (with big-name players) that people actually care about storming into the Super Dome to play in a down-to-the-wire Super Bowl.

“Puckett’s Dugout” – When Minnesota Twins manager Tom Kelly retires, Hall-of-famer Kirby Puckett is hired as manager and with the lowest payroll in the league manages to lead his squad to a winning season.

“Aggies’ Aggression” – In an unexpected development, Utah State head coach Mick Dennehy stays for a fourth year at the helm – the first USU coach to do so in more than 10 years. He leads his team to the WAC championship in the team’s first season in the league.

“Bruiser Brings it On” – USU forward Brennan Ray scores a career-high 22 points and pulls down 11 boards in the Aggies’ victory over the University of the Pacific in the Big West Championship Game. In an unexpected development, Pacific coach Bob Thomason apologizes.

OK, so maybe those last two fantasy movie plots are a little predictable and championship-lined. But hey, any big USU fan would love to see them come to pass, right?

Reuben Wadsworth can be reached at reubwads@cc.usu.edu