COLUMN: To the single, scorned men of Logan

    This column was written in response to “To the single ladies of Logan,” a guest column that appeared in The Utah Statesman on Monday, April 4.

    You seem to have a dating problem. The problem is that you keep dating “witches.” You seem to think that every single woman on campus is a “witch,” a word it feels like you are trying to substitute for one from a less professional vocabulary. Not every girl is a witch and not every guy is Prince Charming. We are not all psycho, lying, lazy, selfish and arrogant witches as you say we are.

    After all, you may have dated some rude women in the past who have not handled the situation in the most pleasing way but it is inaccurate to take those experiences and generalize them for all the ladies in the area.

    Let’s be honest, we are busy, not being able to go out because of a legitimate excuse does not give you the right to pin us down to “ditching” you. Maybe offering multiple scheduling options would garner you more dates. Perhaps “douche guy” at Charlie’s was able to give an option that fit her scheduling needs better. Dating is a nice, fun thing to do but you have to understand that it cannot be a priority over things that are more pressing like homework and prior commitments. Are you saying you would rather have a girl flake out on someone else to be with you? Who is the selfish one again? Yes, backing out of a date is rude but sometimes there is no other option. Both parties should express the desire to reschedule in the case of cancellation.

    You obsess about whether or not a girl is going to turn you down. Most guys I talk to have a major fear of rejection right off the bat. You want girls to be honest but you want them to give you a chance for the “man inside” so what are we supposed to say: Okay I’ll go out with you even though I don’t really want to just so I can give you a chance? That is ridiculous! From most of my female friends, who are not witches by any means, most of us have a one-date policy: If a guy has the guts to ask us out we will respect them and give them at least one date to see if any compatibility is there. We know it is scary to ask a girl out, we understand that, so we are not going to be cruel and instantly turn you down.

    Yes, there are girls out there that will not follow up because they do not want to turn you down. Yes, I agree that is wrong on their part. Communication is essential for a relationship.         How are you supposed to potentially start a relationship if you do not talk? I also say that women are not the only ones at fault for this. Many girls I have talked to get the cold shoulder from guys after they have gone on a single date or hung out once or twice. Both sides just need to get over it and be honest.

    You know that fear in your gut when you are getting ready to talk to a new girl or ask a girl out? Guess what? Girls have that exact same fear. Why do you think so many girls DON’T ask guys out? We have been told for a long time that it is the guy’s job, not that I agree with that. Now we have grown up and realize we do have some power, we can initiate, but what if we are turned down? You talk about girls being arrogant and ridiculing guys but girls aren’t the only ones. Many girls have felt the shamed and belittled because some guy out there has acted like he is king of the world so why should he go out with a girl like her?

    My point? Girls are not the only ones out there making dating mistakes. There are just as many mistakes being made on the guy’s side. So maybe you should look at who you are dating and realize the mistakes that you are making. Then, maybe, we will all be able to grow up a bit more and date as if we are adults instead of immature high school students.

Carly Crosby is a freshman majoring in English. She can be reached at carlycrosby@live.com.