OUR VIEW: The Statesman’s campaign promises

We the staff promise to strive to increase the how informed Utah State students are about things that happen, publish a newspaper three times a week, remove misspelling from all the signs hanging in the TSC and, of course, find the Lost City of Atlantis and challenge the survivors to a softball game.

Vote Statesman for best thing to happen on the planet earth since the invention of monkey bars.

Now, what’s the problem with our platform? Everything.

Number one is vague. Really vague. Plot in a Danielle Steel novel vague. Any time the words “improve,” “increase” or “develop” pop up, beware. Be very ware.

Number two is our job, it’s what we do. It goes without saying. We might as well say we’re not going to punch anyone in the throat this year.

Number three is not something we have the power to do. We have never had this power and we never will. Promising it to you makes us liars.

Number four just isn’t fair. Those poor Atlantians have had enough troubles, they don’t need to put up with us chattering at them for seven innings.

So what’s the point? Critical analysis.

Right now, USU students have 50 candidates promising them everything from better scholarship possibilities to the moon. Some things are within their power, other are not, others and just plain silly.

You should vote, it’s important. But you should also vote smart. Consider what is really going on and what can really be done. Make the candidates earn your vote.

They’ll be better leaders for it and well have a better campus.

Now go vote. Seriously, do it soon because polls close at 2 p.m.