Column: The difference between RVs and AVs
This is America. You can drive just about any type of gas guzzling, hydrocarbon spewing, rust exhibit you want … apparently unless it is a recreational vehicle (RV). Among the pundits of political correctness, driving an RV puts you just one social notch above suspected terrorist.
Sure they are big, ugly, get poor mileage and are often driven by those with declining driving skills. But do they deserve the scorn we give them? Do RVs pollute more; destroy more wildlife, roads or riparian areas? Do they further deplete the ozone or the president’s public approval rating?
There are a lot of dubious vehicles already on the road. We allow triple-trailer semi trucks to blow us off the road; 1967 VW busses that go from zero to 60 in a month; and plenty of BOACs (Big ol’ American cars) that get that barely get 10 miles per gallon without a chemical toilet or refrigerator. But let somebody drive an RV and both eco-warriors and muscle car drivers unite in a cry of shared misery.
Have a little compassion. Look at who’s driving these paved road porkers. These are our parents and grand parents who lived through the depression; never watched their cholesterol; burned coal in their furnaces, ate eggs fried in butter with a side of sausage every day, fought in two world wars; never used sun block and were told by and actor that went on to be president that smoking was good for you.
These same people put up with our generation’s boycotting cleanliness and short hair; streaking; burning flags, bras and draft cards and marijuana; eating seaweed, tofu and bean sprouts; voting democrat “for a change;” dodging the draft; staying in college way too long and generally growing up to be bratty, ungrateful adult children support group junkies.
Add to the support group list “Winnebagophobia:” fear of chemical toilets, propane stoves and kitchen tables that convert into beds.
People who think RVs are the root of all evil are the same ones that think that the world’s problems can be solved by putting Linux on all computers and growing more agricultural hemp. These people don’t drive RVs but most of them drive AVs (adventure vehicles)
Which is better for the environment, and AV or and RV?
AV: 12 to 18 mpg or less with all those toys on the roof rack
RV: 5 to 10 mpg or a little better if you get in the slip stream of a semi truck
AV: $20,000 to $50,0000 Plus the cost of all those toys on the roof rack
RV: $40,000 to $150,000 or whatever is left of the inheritance
AV: Four people plus gear or two passengers plus two dogs
RV: Sleeps eight
AV: Hit a new trail or river every weekend
RV: Stay in campgrounds or children’s driveways for weeks at a time
AV: Poop in the woods, by the stream and in the desert
RV: Poop in a chemical toilet
AV: Build campfires or cook with exotic $200 5-oz. stoves
RV: Fire up the microwave oven
AV: Hike on trails, pooping along the way
RV: Pop in a video and make microwave popcorn or visit with other folks in the trailer park
AV: Wear a groove in the Slick Rock Trail
RV: Go shopping in Moab
AV: Hammer bolts into the side of the mountain to secure climbing ropes
RV: Go shopping in Boulder
AV: Say “go for it” a lot
RV: Say “where is the KOA?”
AV: Keep REI and Patagonia in business
RV: Keep Exxon in business
AV: Drive their parents crazy
RV: Drive like crazy to get away from the kids
AV: Eat overpriced freeze-dried camp food
RV: Microwave pizza
AV: Wear Birkenstocks
RV: Wear Birkenstocks
Learn to love RVs. They free up the backcountry for you and force everyone to drive slower and enjoy the scenery.
Dennis Hinkamp is the proud owner of a 1965 Airstream Globetrotter with a chemical toilet. Comments can be sent to dennish@ext.usu.edu.