COLUMN: Advice From an “Experienced” Senior Advice From an “Experienced” Senior COLUMN: Advice from an ‘experienced’ senior
Because I am what people might call a “super-super-super-to-the-nth-degree- senior,” I obviously have a wealth of information to share on surviving college.
Some of you, I’m sure, are saying that it’s about time someone
shared their knowledge on college survival. Those that know me better are saying, “Why would I want advice from someone who’s been stuck in college forever because he didn’t know that in order to get credit for his classes, he has to pass them?” I will appropriately ignore the second line of thinking and move on with my invaluable suggestions.
If you are new to college life or still just barely getting by in it, then I have listed for you several absolutely imperative things a new student must know going into a semester.
First of all, you should recognize that the syllabus you received at the beginning of class is basically a contract between you and the professor … so I suggest quickly burning it and denying having ever received one (you may have to “deal appropriately” with any
witnesses that might have seen you with it).
Second of all, you should be aware that students who have their cell phones turned on in classes have often been publicly flogged to make an example of them. I actually find this somewhat entertaining, especially when they get a call in the middle of the flogging.
Third, “The Hello Walk” is a section of sidewalk on the edge of the
Quad where you are supposed to greet everyone you see with a friendly “hello.” The reason this is important to know for your survival is because if you don’t say “hello,” you will be given a “friendly” beating. As a side note, in the interest of being “fair and balanced,” I think we should have a “Good-bye” or “See You Soon” walk established.
Fourth, don’t take, I repeat, don’t ever take any class before 8:30 a.m. I can’t confirm this, but I think the passing rate for such classes end up at about 2% (and that 2% only comes from students
who were up all night and thus able to make it to class).
Fifth, don’t attempt to walk up Old Main Hill without at least some conditioning and exercise beforehand. All too often will I see bodies of lesser prepared students scattered along the hill before the top in the first couple of weeks.
Sixth, don’t disclose locations of any computer labs to anyone, unless it happens to be the lab in the TSC. A lot of people don’t realize there are other labs than that one, so let’s keep it that way. I’m not sure exactly what that has to do with survival, but it is a personal preference none-the-less.
Now, while these are all important bits of information, I still haven’t even mentioned the clincher, the number one thing that will undoubtedly ensure your survival. I’m talking about the drop date for any given semester.
The “drop date,” for those of you who thought it was another one of those weird reality dating shows on the WB network, is the last day you have to drop a class from your schedule. Basically it is your “Get Out of Jail Free” card. The nice thing about this “Get Out of Jail Free” card, however, is that everyone gets one and its use is unlimited.
Of course, I should probably mention that any time you drop a class after about a week or so into it, you won’t be able to get a full refund on your tuition and fees … but I promise that you won’t even care about money by then.
The incredible sensation of dropping a class will quickly void any financial concerns, since it will seem like a small price to pay as the growing stress of class readings and upcoming assignments will have quite suddenly been obliterated.
I emphatically declare that it’s something everyone should experience.
You know that saying, “”Tis better to have loved and lost than
never to have loved at all”? Well I think an even more appropriate saying is “‘Tis better to have hated and lost than never to have hated at all.”
I personally overbook my semester by at least two or three classes with the intention of dropping them. The fun part is going into the semester knowing you are going to drop classes, but not knowing which of them you are going to drop. It gives you a whole new perspective to your classroom attendance experience.
Instead of being intimidated by your classes, your professors
actually have to unknowingly sell their courses to you … they have to earn the right to be one of the few, the chosen that you will end up attending all semester long.
When the moment does come for you to drop the class, not only are you relieved, but the professor is also happy. First, because
that’s one less student whose work he or she will have to grade, and second, because you were probably really annoying (or maybe that’s just the case with me). Either way, you both win.
So remember that dropping is always, ALWAYS an option. Of course, the only problem with it is that sometimes you can get a little bit too enthusiastic about dropping your classes and end up with no classes at all. While the stress factor ends up being reduced to about zero, this might also explain why I’m a super-super-super-to-the-nth-degree senior.
Marty Reeder is a super-super-etc. senior majoring in history teaching. Any comments or cell phone flogging announcements can be sent to martr@cc.usu.edu