LETTER: Intimacy may do the trick

Editor,

I disagree with The Statesman’s view on abstinence in that I believe properly planned and protected sexual relations prior to marriage can actually strengthen a couple’s relationship.

It is true that the divorce rate is 50 percent, but is not abstaining from sex prior to marriage a significant cause? In Utah there is a strong religious and moral emphasis on abstinence, and yet the divorce rate here is equivalent if not higher than the rest of the country. Perhaps abstinence isn’t helping us as much as we’d like to think!

Sexual relations are a natural progression in getting to know your partner. The level of intimacy that is attained using sex as a tool can aid in knowing whether or not this is really the person you want to spend your life with.

Of course this knowledge can come after marriage, but if an incompatibility crops up, it’s a lot easier to break off a relationship than it is a marriage.

Having a relationship rely too heavily on physical attraction is certainly a risk when one chooses to have sexual relations before marriage. I would never suggest to anyone that sexual activity should be entered into without a great deal of personal reflection and discussion between the couple. This kind of decision takes time, and I believe time more than abstinence, is the key to a successful union. I see couples, especially in Utah, jumping into marriage after only months of dating.

It is impossible to truly know a person in such a short time. Whether or not you abstain is a personal choice, but by giving relationships the time they deserve, I believe we will see more successful and longer-lasting marriages.

Traci Chavez