COLUMN: Cancer studies are stacked against us

Catherine Bennett

 

If you’ve consumed a bowl of salty chicken noodle soup to help a cold, you’ve increased your risk of stomach cancer. You also better study up on the contents of your mouthwash, because you could be sloshing a cancer-causing liquid around in your mouth. Forget fighting plaque – would you rather have cancer or cavities?

If you want a radiologist to inspect a fracture or broken bone, you may want to think twice, because you will increase – well, you know the rest. I don’t doubt that the machines used to detect cancerous cells also cause cancer. See what I mean? All roads lead to a sanitized medical office.

It’s as if we don’t have 9,583 other things – tragedies, pet peeves, social injustices and personal emotions – to cope with. No, that isn’t enough. Brilliant television producers, online advertisers and gossipy magazines – to name a few perpetrators – must run out of cynical things to talk about, so they send their researchers to work to figure out how every household or necessary object could possibly cause cancer.

Did you know the metallic particles in your deodorant could give you breast cancer? How did the Food and Drug Administration let that product get through? Easy. A lot of the outrageous media we digest is bogus. After the toxic antiperspirant theory came out, the National Cancer Institute released an official explanation stating no evidence shows this fun fact has any validity. Don’t worry, everyone. You don’t have to carry on like cave people.

Even wine, an alcoholic beverage containing antioxidants that many studies say has multiple health benefits will also cause cancer. How does it make sense that our use of a product must be gauged by considering health benefits versus cancer? Tuesday morning, a news story showed that eating fried food on a regular basis – if fried in the right oil – may lead to obesity, but is otherwise not as harmful as many thought. I’m sure this news about fried foods will be a free pass for some to take out their deep fryers again. Why don’t the people investing their time in these absurd studies spend more time trying to find cures for cancer?

Say every cancer study that comes out is factual. What is the purpose of publicizing a study that shows mobile devices emit radiation that provokes cancer-causing cells in the brain? For those who actually believe this is a serious cause of cancer, they won’t be able to set up a doctor’s appointment to check for cancer because they’ll have thrown their cell phones over a bridge.

I once met a woman who only used her cell phone’s “speaker” feature to talk on her phone. She told me she was decreasing the risk of absorbing harmful radiation by holding the phone further from her head. I imagine the jokers who come out with these studies are laughing hysterically in their offices about their plight to let everyone know their phone will give them cancer, and at the same time canceling out the most popular mode of communication used to receive medical assistance.

Everyone in the U.S. knows someone who has or once had cancer. If they don’t know someone with cancer, they know someone who knows someone with cancer. It’s a distressing an rampant illness that causes widespread fear. I think it’s a sick joke that outrageous studies with little backing are advertised regularly. Information about life-threatening illnesses should only be broadcast by professional health institutions that have no intention to dramatize. Cancer is dramatic enough without increasing paranoia.

In order to beat the odds that each of us face in regard to developing cancer, we need to also be able to predict the exact amount of a food source or product we can use, including red meat, potato chips and toothpaste. It’s impossible to win, especially considering how many seemingly healthy individuals have to fight cancer.

Our health all comes down to doing what our mothers taught us to do – eat a balanced diet, exercise multiple times per week and never use anything in excess. It’s no use being overly concerned about exposing ourselves to products that may give us cancer, because even if we aren’t concerned, our risk is still present.

Now, I’m not promoting hedonism, but don’t waste your time panicking. We do enough of that. Enjoy all the things life has to offer, but know your limits. Lead a generally healthy life, but feel free to consume red meat if you enjoy it and, for heaven’s sake, please continue brushing your teeth.

 

– Catherine Bennett is editor in chief of The Utah Statesman. Comments on her column may be sent to statesmanoffice@aggiemail.usu.edu