Make a decision and smile about it

Sometimes you just have one of those days.

During Christmas break of my freshman year, our dorm room flooded with more than three feet of water. As we drove back to school, I worried about all my books, clothes, bedding and pictures, but my roommate, Emily, was grateful the school was already doing their best to remedy the situation.

As we entered the canyon, amidst snow flurries and wind, my car lost power. My parents were traveling behind and pulled over. After determining that there was no quick fix, we began to unload the contents of my car into the truck in the middle of the snow and wind. Shopping bags full of clothes, towels and junk tore as we piled them into the open bed of the truck in the storm. Emily and I scrunched in the front seat with my mom and we drove on, leaving my dad to deal with the car. I was worried about my car, frustrated at the situation, upset about the snow and on the verge of tears when Emily cheerfully said, “This is kinda fun. I’ve never been in a flood before.” My mom and I both looked at her with a certain degree of confusion and exasperation before we all started giggling.

We arrived at the apartment and two of the other roommates were already there. All of our belongings were in one heap in the living room, drawers, bedding, clothes, computers, pictures, books – everything. During the next 14 hours, we moved back into our apartment, uncovering soaked sheets, sodden textbooks, water-logged printers, stinky bedding and ruined pillows. Still, Emily was optimistic. “It’s like rock climbing through our stuff,” she said. “This is definitely going to have to be a scrapbook page and something for the journal.” Her optimism gave the rest of us the ability to laugh through our tears.

Being happy isn’t a consequence; it is a choice.

I grew up with two older brothers.

My Barbie doll heads were constantly being pulled off, I was always teased for being the smallest and the weakest, keep-away was their favorite game and worst of all, I was always being picked up by my head, my ears, my ankles and my pants.

My mother always said, “Don’t let them make you mad.”

Yeah, right. My 6-, 7-, 8-, 9- and 10-year-old self couldn’t understand the point she was getting to. It wasn’t until I started into my teenage years that I realized my brothers didn’t make me mad; I allowed myself to be mad.

The professor you can’t stand doesn’t annoy you every day; you are letting yourself be annoyed. Your roommates aren’t the ones upsetting you; you upset yourself. Your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend didn’t make you bitter; you’re bitter all on your own.

Recently, I have had quite a few friends come to me for advice after a bad day, a tough break-up with a fiancé or boyfriend or a fight with a roommate. I give the same advice to all of my friends that my mother gave me. Don’t let them make you mad; you have to decide to be happy all on your own. No one can force you to be happy. You can have the best friend, confidant, daughter, son, boyfriend or girlfriend, but they can not make you happy and they can not make you mad – that is up to you. You will never find happiness in anyone or anything besides yourself.

For more than 10 years, I have had a quote from Abraham Lincoln in sticker form stuck on the backsplash of my desk back home that says, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

There are those times in life that require you to take some time: time to grieve, time to cry, time to be alone and then it’s time to come out on top, but pick your battles and not let everything get you down.

Sometimes it is a lot easier to be happy than others, sometimes being happy is exhausting and some days it’s just easier to stay home and be mad. But being happy with your life is a decision. You are the only one who can make it.

Don’t go out into the world looking for whatever it is that will make you happy. Go out into the world happy, and things will fall into place.

Pass it on.