COLUMN: I’m not a feminist

The answer is no.

I’ve often been asked if I am a feminist.

Again, the answer is no.

There are certain things in life most men do better than most women, and on the same page, there are some things that most women do better than most men. And most importantly, there is nothing wrong with that.

The differences between men and women have brought about many great things we now enjoy every day, like toilet seats that automatically get put down, instructions on the outside of a screwdriver set, and my personal favorite, the ever-classic board game, Battle of the Sexes.

However different, men and women are co-equals in every way that matters. But there are too many girls who never got this memo. Instead, they got one that told them to be a doormat, to sit down and keep their mouth shut. This idea is reinforced by popular reality shows that send the message that a little cleavage can go a long way and depict Jessica Simpson as a newlywed who is little more than a dumb blond.

Because this stereotype is reinforced, too many girls are too concerned with being nice or liked to really say what they think and stand up for what they want. We are taught that we mustn’t hurt anyone’s feelings or someone might “feel bad.” The result of this line of thinking is generations of girls who are timid, scared, self-depreciating, and reserved, with little or no confidence in their own abilities.

My grandmother recently went to dinner with our family. After ordering, we waited almost 45 minutes for our meal. When it finally arrived, Grandma was presented with something she did not order. In order to avoid causing trouble or making the waiter feel like they did something bad, she refused to say anything and instead chose to pay for and eat something she didn’t order and didn’t like.

It is OK for a woman to speak up enough to kindly complain about poor service at a restaurant, to be taken seriously at the car dealership and to be respected in the business setting. If she is not treated fairly, it may not be their fault – it may be hers. She needs to be confident enough to stand up for herself.

A few years ago, my parents were building their home and my mother was in charge of gathering bids, working with the contractors and making sure the construction stayed on task and on schedule. While looking into air conditioning, she was speaking to a contractor who said, “Perhaps I can make an appointment to speak to your husband about this.” She firmly and politely got up and left.

I don’t mean to confuse confidence with manners. I’m not suggesting women all over the world walk around in their stiletto heels looking to squash anything that comes near and demand that they get royal treatment simply because they have two X chromosomes. With the increasing roles of women, I only see fit for an increase in confidence in themselves and consequently, respect from others.

We don’t need to limit ourselves in order to avoid contention and we don’t need to stay quiet because we’re not sure our opinion is worth sharing. I still stand by what I said at the beginning of this column.

I am not a feminist.

But I do think that there is more to women than most give themselves credit for. So, to my fellow females, avoid the pop culture of acting dumb to get attention, speak up when you have something to say, kindly complain when something needs to be fixed and most importantly, view yourself as a co-equal so others will too.

Pass it on.

Emma Tippetts is a senior majoring in law and constitutional studies and print journalism. Comments and recipes for

chocolate cake can be sent to etippetts@cc.usu.edu.