OUR VIEW: Begging for a snow day

Whose butt do we have to kiss around here to get a snow day?

Really?

We’ll do it.

We know it seems like every Our View lately has been about snow, but what else is there to talk about? Everyone’s mind is frozen, trapped in an igloo. Every time you look outside, you see quarter-sized snowflakes adding to the outrageous piles of the white powder crippling the world.

With each new foot or so, we can’t help but wonder where the tipping point is.

What constitutes a snow day? What sort of divine providence? What kind of ritual animal sacrifice has to be performed to the gods of Old Main? What’s the magical potion that makes administrators say, “Wow. It’s absolutely ridiculous, let’s give these kids the day off?”

Isn’t having students skating around on a thin layer of ice and snow a little bit unsafe? Forget about the condition of the walkways, how about the students that have to drive snow-packed roads to get to classes? Why would we endanger students’ lives when we could really all benefit from a hot cup of tea or coffee or whatever and a warm heater vent?

Plus, Weber State had a snow day last Friday. Unfair. So when is it our turn? We don’t want Weber to seem more sensible than us, do we?

We wouldn’t want to suggest that those in charge are irrational, but isn’t this whole snow business getting out of hand? Sane people wouldn’t venture across the Antarctic landscape – with the fear of falling into an icy cavern or having an encounter with a violently bent penguin. And what about the possibility of a polar bear attack in front of the BNR building? – just to doze through a lecture.

We’re stuck in this demented cycle where every couple of days or so this place gets dumped on, making already irritating walking and driving conditions downright dangerous. Then, on the “off” days, it’s about -12 degrees under sunny, blue skies.

At what point do we say, “With all the snow and cold, we just can’t expect you guys to risk life and limb to get to your classes. Stay home. It’s a SNOW DAY!”?

When do frostbitten noses and ears become a serious issue? We can’t have a bunch of people walking around with blackened ear lobes, missing the end of their noses. Horrific deformity isn’t good for recruitment efforts.

The only real use for this snow is to let thrill seekers strap themselves to greased-up lengths of polyethylene and hurl down a mountain at inappropriate speeds.

So why not at least let the powderheads benefit from the stockpile of snow? We know professors and administrators would love to shred some sweet powder, too.

So come on. Please?