COLUMN: Be aware of irresponsible spending
Question: have you ever eaten a Philly sandwich made with lunchmeat, Kraft singles and honey butter packets from KFC on top of an Eggo waffle bun? Have you ever eaten one of these for a date?
Don’t worry. You will.
Welcome to the bustling mental metropolis that is college poverty. It’s a lot like real poverty, except where normal poverty mercies are a forgotten slice of bread or unexplained shelter, yours are a free month subscription of Hulu Plus or using that dollar you found outside to add guacamole and sour cream to your sweet pork burrito at Costa Vida.
I get a lot of questions from younger students to the tune of how to pinch a dime into a dollar, and I usually give them two pieces of advice.
One: Turning metal into paper is near impossible, so I’d stay away from pinching anything unless you greatly value carpal tunnel syndrome.
Two: Always have space for your “fun” purchases, but choose them wisely – and I mean “wisely” with impeccable emphasis.
It’s amazing how a few $2 purchases can add up quickly. The only thing that travels faster than Kel to a jug of orange soda is a checking account flopping from three digits to two, and it’s usually not the paying-rent or covering-medical-expenses doldrums to blame. It’s the little things – those wolves in a Five-Dollar-Footlong’s clothing.
Financial success is all about being aware of – and avoiding – those things that add up. To start you off right, let me just name a few.
First, beverages. Look, I don’t have anything wrong with going out every once in a while. If God didn’t want us to rely on fast food, he wouldn’t have invented In-N-Out Burger. But if you’re one who wishes to turn an on-location culinary experience into a sure-fire financial-reliance clinic, allow me to issue you a gold mine in nine simple words.
Get a water. Get a water. Get a water.
I understand nothing goes better with a vat of curly fries much like an ice cold Dr Pepper, but you have to refrain. What was once a single added purchase of $1.45 quickly turns into two, then five, then you’re justifying daily Slurpee and Frosty detours. Before long, you are figuratively and even pseudo-literally drowning in your own sugary fiscal undertow. You know what they say in economics: “There no such thing as free refills.”
Secondly, let’s address shirts, posters and all other paraphernalia regarding a favorite TV show. I’ve been there on this one far too many times. Something about an emotional connection to “Parks and Recreation” and you feel strangely obligated to emblazon their insignia on everything you own. Suddenly it seems worth the $24.99 when just days ago you wouldn’t pay four bucks for a very-much-needed pair of corduroys at the D.I. because one of the belt loops seemed “sort of loose.”
If you’re one who finds urgency in these products because you feel a pull to publicly laud such a rousing source of media, simply create your own. Sharpies can do amazing things, and you’d be shocked just how chic Velcro pads can look on a blouse if you add just a little lace. Just take my word for it.
Third, let’s take a look at seemingly anything involving Amazon Prime. This is simple: free two-day shipping becomes a very small factor if you buy 14 pairs of shoes at a time. Also, don’t get caught into thi
nking this is your gateway to a cheap bean bag chair when simply not throwing out your newspapers will do.
And lastly, what about the triple-feature “Ernest Goes To…” DVD in the $5 bin at WalMart? This is entirely wasteful and fiscally irresponsible because – you know what? On second thought, go for this one. Ernest is awesome.
After a slightly-heavier wallet and easier sleep at night, you’ll thank me for these pieces of monetary wisdom. Now to play Pogs with the 50 commemorative, inch-thick, pure silver Power Ranger slammers I got online.
Don’t look at me like that. I needed them.