Religious choice brings peace to Pagan

I grew up as a Mormon in a small town that was made up of several different Christian religions. Growing up this way I was unaware of what else was out there and what other beliefs and spirituality the world had to offer, however when I moved to USU in 2010 I decided it was time for me to decide my own faith. I stopped going to the LDS church and went on to explore other faith’s in hopes that I would find something to better suit my interests and my lifestyle.

I attended different Christian churches with some of my friends, but I never felt like I belonged there. I went for months without attending any church or bothering to care. I was going through my boxes around spring break of 2011, and I found a deck of Tarot Cards that a friend had encouraged me to buy back in high school. I had never really studied or paid any mind to them, but I decided it was the right time for me to do so.

I knew Tarot Cards were used by those in the Wiccan religion, and after some research I found that Wicca is a denomination of Paganism, just like Mormonism is a denomination of Christianity. I continued to research on the broader spectrum of the general beliefs of Pagans. I found that Pagans are very centered around nature, and their beliefs are very relaxed and “customizable.” In Paganism you can choose to believe in the Gods or not to. The main belief is that of the five elements that are a part of everyone: fire, air, earth, water and spirit. After continued study I decided that Paganism was where I belong, though I don’t identify as any of the specific denominations. I am Pagan — not Wiccan, not Druid. Just Pagan.

Identifying as Pagan brought along with it misunderstandings, just like every religion. Recently I was informed by someone who did not know my personal beliefs that Pagans were of the devil and that they worshiped Satan. This is a common misconception every Pagan hears constantly. This, however, is a false statement.

The concept of Satan and the devil is a Christian belief, not a part of the Pagan faith. As a Pagan I personally choose not to worship the Pagan Gods. I do however remain spiritual. I connect myself with the elements, and I meditate regularly. I like to connect with my own spirit and identify with myself and those around me.

Once I decided to identify as a Pagan, I felt so much more comfortable with myself and my identity, but sometimes it’s difficult. Though Pagans are spread around the globe, there aren’t many in Utah, and I have to practice my faith on my own. I don’t get the opportunity of being a part of a coven, which is just the same as being part of a ward in the LDS faith. My faith is all self practice and self taught.

One way I go about practicing my beliefs by myself is through buying books and Tarot decks as well as Runes. I study on my own, and I pull pieces that I feel fit my lifestyle and throw away those that don’t — because as a Pagan I can do that. I study my Tarot spreads and try to identify with the cards and their meanings. Each card has a meaning and tells a story. The cards help me spiritually connect with my inner self and can provide guidance, just like the Bible can for a Christian.

I love being Pagan, and I love belonging somewhere. This experience has provided me with a better love and understanding of people everywhere.

— Kaitlin Bluemel recently graduated with an associates degree from USU. She is currently spending her time working at the State Liquor store. On her days off she enjoys writing, crafting and boosting her photography business. She will be continuing her Pagan Life writings on her blog. You can reach her at kaitblue@yahoo.com or on Twitter @skittles1313.