Dating Doctor discusses relationships
Dating Doctor David Coleman talked about dating and relationships during Common Hour on Wednesday. Coleman has made numerous appearances over the years at Utah State University, sharing about how to improve, start or better understand relationships and dating.
Coleman began by sharing that he was recently interviewed by Perez Hilton, and when asked his top five favorite schools to visit, USU was one of them.
“Honest to goodness, I think you’re my favorite school,” Coleman said. “I love you. You’re so nice. You’re grounded. You’re humble. You’re slightly nuts. It’s fun.”
When the event was being organized there was advertising which indicated exclusion of LGBT couples, due to the focus of the show being on how to better understand the opposite sex. However, that was changed in order to include all interested in learning about dating, no matter their sexual orientation.
“I’m going to try to be as inclusive … as I can possibly be,” Coleman said. “I’m gonna talk about men — things that turn men on, how to tell if a guy is interested in you. If you prefer men, I would focus on that part of the show. I will then talk about women — things that turn women on, how to tell if a woman is interested in you. If you prefer women, I would focus on that part of the show.”
One topic Coleman highlighted was that of a “campus culture of consent” to teach students to understand what consent in a physical relationship means.
“(This culture is) before two people jump into anything physically … they have a responsible conversation as adults,” Coleman said. “‘Can I kiss you? Can I touch you?’ And the answers that you get to these conversations is the answer that you live by.”
Coleman emphasized that this has been a serious issue that universities everywhere are working to address and improve. It cannot ever be assumed that there is consent, and being aware can help people have healthier relationships and dating lives, he said.
As for Coleman’s view on Valentine’s Day, he believes that “the definition of romance is to perform an ordinary act of love or kindness at an unexpected time.”
“What’s unexpected about Valentine’s Day?” he said.
He suggested that anyone in a relationship should give their significant other a gift on Feb. 13, with a handwritten note that says, “No one as special as you should have to wait another day,” to beat Valentine’s Day hype. He also encouraged singles to have Singe Awareness Day parties and bring other singles to come and mingle.
Coleman discussed the The ABC’s of Initial Attraction, “the four things you look for in the first five minutes that you meet someone.”
“The first thing is attraction. … The B stands for believability,” Coleman said. “In the first couple minutes you spend with them, do their words seem sincere and true and genuine to you? The C stands for chemistry. Chemistry is every type of attraction for another person, besides physical. Could they put a smile on your face? Do they make you laugh? … The D stands for desire. It’s … the desire to get to know them better.”
Afton Strong, a freshman studying elementary education, heard about the event from a friend.
“I thought it was awesome,” Strong said. “I think everyone needs to hear what he had to say. I liked ‘Quit being a creature of habit,’ because … I know for me, I do the same thing every day. I don’t go out of my way to go to new activities, and then I don’t really get to meet new people.”
When addressing a question about getting out of the “friend zone,” Coleman addressed the concept of being in the same predictable daily schedule. By not always being in the same places, a potential date has to put forth more effort to see someone they have “friend-zoned” because they have taken for granted that they always know where they’ll run into each other, he said.
“College students are the worst creatures of habit that have ever walked the planet Earth,” Coleman said. “Shake your lives up a little bit. You want to get out of the friend zone? Make people make an effort to see you. I want you to run around campus like you are a sold-out concert, and there are no tickets left.”
To learn more about Coleman and his work as the Dating Doctor, visit his website at datingdoctor.com.
— mandy.m.morgan@aggiemail.usu.edu