Female rape: ‘It’s easy to blame yourself’

Editors note: As the second part of a two-part series for Domestic Violence Awareness month, we cover sexual assault against women. This includes labeling experiences, victim blaming, bystander intervention and consent.

According to a poll published in the Washington Post, one in five college women have reported sexual assault.

Utah State University’s frequency of sexual assault is not far from national average, said Jenny Erazo, program coordinator for USU’s Sexual Assault and Anti-Violence Information, or SAAVI.

Despite its frequency, rape is one of the most underreported crimes, Erazo said.

There are many reasons why a victim fears reporting. For one, two out of three acts of sexual assault are committed by someone the victim knows, Erazo said.

“We have this myth that sexual assault occurs in back alleys by a stranger, when in all reality, that hardly ever happens,” said Bret Nielson, a senior in social work and a SAAVI intern. “Most likely, you’re going to be attacked by someone that you know on average for a year.”

Because sexual assault is widely believed to be a violent act perpetuated by a stranger — rather than a boyfriend, husband, friend or date — victims have a hard time labeling their experience.

“Some people may not even realize that they’ve been sexually assaulted because they have their own schema about what sexual assault is and who it’s perpetrated by,” said Amanda Gibb, a graduate student in social work and an intern at SAAVI.

Another prevalent occurrence is victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the fault is placed on the victim for the sexual assault, rather than the assailant.

“It includes, ‘What are you wearing? What were you drinking? What were you doing? Were you egging it on? Have you had sex with him before?'” Nielson said. “In all reality, I can’t control another person. It really is unimportant when it comes to sexual assault. The fact of the matter is they were sexually assaulted.”

Victim blaming is especially harmful when it comes from the victim’s main network of support, such as close friends and family, Nielson said.

“It’s easy to blame yourself, but it’s even easier to blame yourself when the people around you are victim blaming you,” Gibb said.

A new trend is bystander intervention, or the prevention of sexual assault by intervening when others are in unsafe situations.

For example, a woman is too drunk to consent and a man is hitting on her. Intervention does not have to be aggressive, Nielson said. It can be as simple as offering a tampon as an icebreaker.

“Before it was, ‘You are responsible for not being sexually assaulted.'” Nielson said. “And now this bystander intervention says, ‘We are all responsible to make sure sexual assault doesn’t happen.'”

Consent also prevents sexual assault. It is a mutual, verbal, physical and emotional agreement, Erazo said.

Pressure or coercion is not used to obtain consent, Erazo said. Individuals cannot give consent while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Consent must be continually given — one act is not consent for future acts — and it can be withdrawn at any time.

When in doubt the best route is to ask, Erazo said.

“‘Do you want to do this? Do you like this? Are you comfortable with this?’ If you’re in a healthy relationship where you feel safe, that should be an okay question to ask,” Erazo said.

While sexual assault can happen to anyone, men are less likely to report. Cultural influences are a possible explanation of why more cases against women are reported, Gibb said.

“I feel like it’s really a cultural thing, where men are taught to be more sexually aggressive and women are taught to be more passive,” Gibb said.

Whether or not the victim wants to report, they are encouraged to seek help if they need it. Utah State’s SAAVI office, as well as Citizens Against Physical and Sexual Abuse, or CAPSA, provide resources.

The client is in the driver’s seat, Erazo said. SAAVI and CAPSA’s services are confidential.

Whether the individual seeks help labeling what happened to them, getting connected to therapy, accompaniment to court or knowing their options, there is support available.

“Sexual assault is not your fault,” Nielson said. “It doesn’t matter what you were wearing, what you were drinking, what you were smoking. We don’t care. The fact of the matter is, they were sexually assaulted and we want to help them.”

—whitney.howard@aggiemail.usu.edu

@omgwhitshutup