My DTR with BYU football
Dear BYU,
It’s time we had the talk. I know it’s uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. I’ve grown weary of this toxic tension that exists between us. It’s time we define this relationship.
Let’s start with the basics. It hurts that you still flirt it up with Utah whenever we aren’t around, as if by association you’ll be allowed into one of the PAC-12’s big New Year’s parties. We both know you’re underage, and to be honest you shouldn’t really be involved in the party scene anyway.
I know how badly you want to be one of the big kids, but it’s just not you. You think what you have with Utah is real, but a 54-31 overall record in favor of the Utes is a “rivalry” the way a nail has a rivalry with a hammer. You could win every game against Utah until the year 2035 and still not even be .500 against them. That’s not a healthy relationship, and it’s sad you keep pursuing it when we’re just a little further north.
You belong with us.
Look at what we already share — you lead USU 46-35 in the all-time standings despite thinking last year’s 35-20 beatdown was some sort of anomaly. That’s right in the sweet spot of what classifies a solid back-and-forth rivalry. For the sake of comparison, Michigan and Ohio State are separated by twelve games, Navy leads Army by ten and the Iron Bowl boasts a difference of just eight. Great rivalries can only stem from relatively balanced competition.
That’s what we could have, if you’d just accept us.
Don’t try to tell me last year’s game meant nothing to you. You were No. 18 in the nation, a perfect 4-0. Any team who walks into your house as 21-point underdogs and leaves with a two-score win has to have made you feel something, right?
I know what you’re thinking. Despite having a historically close record and competing for the same high school recruits, and our quarterbacks never making it through an entire game against one another, you’re hesitant to make this thing official. I get it. You’ve either thought of us as your little brother for so long, or not even thought of us at all.
But little brother we are not.
We are more like sisters. Instead of a good, competitive relationship layered with contempt but ultimately rooted in respect, we’re petty. We backbite. We gossip about each other without ever bringing it out in the open. Admittedly, for many years you were the hot one getting all the attention from the local boys, and we were awfully jealous. We’d be kidding ourselves if we thought any different.
But you’re still convinced Utah State is going through a “phase” and will soon return to irrelevancy, and in this regard you are mistaken. Ever since a man named Gary Andersen came into our lives we’ve advanced through puberty, dropped a lot of weight and now we’re a pretty cute small-town alternative to Provo. In fact — and don’t be mad at me for just being honest — you’ve kind of gained a reputation for being a bit stuffy.
So let’s do it, BYU. Let’s make this thing official. The stories we could share if we just accepted this rivalry for the naturally occurring gift it so obviously is would be so great. Declaring Utah State your significant other wouldn’t tarnish your reputation, and it certainly won’t wash away your history with Utah. Instead, it would start a new glorious chapter for us both.
Right now, most USU fans harbor nothing but animosity towards BYU, and from personal experiences at our games the past few years that feeling seems mutual. Let’s agree to hate each other with the respect a true rivalry deserves.
Call us little brother, do our chants, keep on doing whatever it is you do to get under our skin — you’re very good at it. But let’s base it all on an understanding that what we have between us is real and not just some fling.
Sincerely,
Your loving rival.
— Logan Jones is a junior majoring in journalism. Contact him at logantjones@aggiemail.com or on Twitter @Logantj.
Let me teach you something about analysis…use relavent information. BYU/USU record is 23-3 the last three decades. You said it yourself, you came in last year a 21 point dog to a ranked team. You need to be .500 agains BYU for AT LEAST 10 years before this thing gets interesting. Nice try though…
Why stop there? You should be even more selective. How about games played since the beginning of 2014? A couple of years is certainly more relevant than something that happened 30 years ago. Speaking of relevance, USU beat Utah more recently than BYU has.
21 point dog who ended up winning. Sounds about right.
I truly hope the Utes use your own logic against you. BTW, if it’s not a rivalry why are you on here again?
This was stupid.
Look I like playing utah state. And I want utah state to do well whenever we are not playing. Most utah state fans want byu to do well otherwise. Your numbers are wrong because the first 20 years byu had a football team they got dominated by the utes and utah state. Therefore if you looks at the records for the last 30 years you will see byu and utah are pretty close and byu and utah state are not. The fans love the other team when they are not play for the most part. Therefore not a true rivalry.
Sorry. Go utah state and byu! Utes suck
Nope. Big NOPE. DOUBLE NOPE. Make that a triple. Your comment “And I want utah state to do well whenever we are not playing. Most utah state fans want byu to do well otherwise.”
Good night my misinformed friend. I say my prayers every morning to the good Lord above that BYU goes winless every season, that Their “next great QB” breaks his leg, that Bronco gets caught up in a sex scandal, and that you guys eventually retire Harvey Unga’s jersey alongside the jersey’s of Marcus Whalen and O’Neill Chambers. Then one day when I’m good and old that they drop their football program and become the next former Ricks College. I hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY! EVERYTHING about BYU. Pull your head out of your rear end. BYU fans now don’t want to discuss the BYU/Utah State record books from 40-50 years ago, but your battle cry of an argument is your precious national championship from um, yeah, 30 years ago? Am I doing my math right?
Translation:
“Nuh uh! The first 20 times didn’t count! No takey backeys! It wasn’t for real until I said it was for real!! So Ha! Told you so!”
Maybe when you get something more than a 3 star recruit…
Quick question, where is Bobby Wagner, arguably the best LB in the NFL, from? K, thx, bye.
And maybe when your 5 star guys do better than Jake Heaps we can talk.
I think many BYU fans are tiring of the Utah rivalry because of all the hatred. Why try to make the Utah State game just as toxic? Sports are supposed to be fun. If you don’t act like jackasses at this week’s game, maybe we’ll start wanting to call this thing a friendly rivalry. As it is, I wouldn’t miss a beat if USU doesn’t appear on any more BYU schedules.
As a life-long BYU fan I can honestly say this is a seriously funny article. Very well written and all the jokes landed.
Even though USU has won a total of 4 games against BYU since the day I was born I agree this is a legit rivalry. Not because both teams are of the same caliber, but because USU will always be looking up to BYU with the petty jealousy of a little brother(or sister if you insist). All is right with the world. Lets be happy we have each other.
Love my Cougs…. like the Aggies too… familiy has an endowed chair at USU… But since my sons chose the Y… gotta go with that…. By the way is your brother Bassetball Jones? …. Just kidding!
Pretty entertaining to read the BYU comments. While I hate seeing BYU “centric” articles in the Statesman this one was somewhat entertaining. BYU has become irrelevant for Utah, they will still rarely agree to play but only for sentimental reasons. As far as the effect of the game it is irrelevant for Utah (as is one with us). BYU and USU are relevant for each other though. Looking at the last six games USU won two, gave a way two, and lost two. This year USU is likely to dominate the game. Vegas has the two teams about equal and USU has the game at home.
I hate BYU, and would love to beat them every year, but I’m not convinced the game is worth playing. But given the attendance spike and the local recruiting implications it is probably a good idea to keep the game.
Easy response to all byu fans on this comments section: the mere fact you are seeking out USU’s school paper, posting comments and clamoring about this piece on your own fan forum proves Logan Jone’s 100% correct. If it was the irrelevant to you, then by definition of the word “irrelevant” you wouldnt even notice it. Buuut…nope. You responded because USU got your goat and you want to get theirs. Welcome to rivalries, chaps.
Nice try Steve, but BYU fans aren’t obsessed with Utah State like Utah is with BYU. Don’t flatter yourself thinking we actually go looking in your school paper for articles about us. I know me personally this article showed up on my twitter feed, I was intrigued, then disgusted as I read the article. Utah State wishes BYU or Utah would recognize them, but truth is we both know there’s no point. USU is the runt of the state of Utah football family
How is it that the “runt of the state of Utah family” has been the most consistent program for the last five years? Yeah USU was a terrible program a few years ago but let’s talk about now. BYU has not been relevant for anything nationally since LaVell Edwards retired. So stop pretending that because BYU used to be an excellent program, that they are still the best. They haven’t earned it recently. The competition has been even in the last 5 years so yes it is a rivalry. Yes USU used to be the little brother. Now they’ve grown up and are arguably more relevant now than BYU based on their having an actual conference.
Meh, we don’t need BYU to be our rival, they don’t even play in our conference (or any conference for that matter). We need Boise to be our rival. USU’s goal should be about winning conference championships and playing in NY6 bowl games. BYU can’t do either of those things from where they are. Beating them can’t do anything for USU either. For USU, the BYU game should be an afterthought. For USU, the BYU game should be meaningless – just like every BYU season while they’re independent.
Agreed. BYU is and should be irrelevant to us. USU Aggies should move on from this rivalry relationship and accept a new rival in Boise.
I’d rather be imprisoned in Iran or North Korea than suffer the culture of BYU and Provo.
I hate the university of Utah. Not a huge fan of the Aggies, but this game will never be anything like the holy war.