Why men hate romance
Before any of you become hurt or offended, answer me this: When have you ever seen a movie or read a book or even experienced in real life where a man didn’t put forth all of the effort to attain the woman or man of his dreams? I will go ahead and answer for you. You can’t. In the one or two cases you managed to think of, the man or woman is leading him on, suggestively telling him that he can pursue him or her.
What does this mean for us? This weekend on Sunday is the least favored holiday for most of the men I know that are in relationships. It’s time to spend a lot of money on some non-ring jewelry, learn how to cook a fancy meal or buy one, plan out a day of activity, and do it all with a smile. I am sure all of you dear female or passive male significant others reading this are excited to see what your significant other will do for you.
For men, romance isn’t nice. You come home after a long day of whatever it is to the person you love and are expected to be the romantic one. He or she has no obligation to do anything romantic for you. This repetitive action leaves men exhausted and depressed and dreading every moment.
It becomes far worse if you are married. There is no reason for a heterosexual male to be married anymore. The idea of splitting up wealth used to be a great idea when a man was the sole provider of income for a household. But now, with two incomes and old ideals, men get the smallest part of the stick. A man usually has to give half of his things to his soon-to-be ex-wife and most custody of the children regardless of who is the better caretaker or if the child support will actually be used for the children. Child support is so expensive that it is usually better to keep a bad marriage together than to end it.
Combine all of this pain with the penalties of being married and male and this leads to one unhappy person. This unhappy person’s entire well-being now depends on how much they can act romantically every single day.
To celebrate this absolute imbalance in gender roles, we decided to devote an entire day to the notion of love. Valentine’s Day is the most oppressive holiday for men. I will go ahead and give you some idea of what I am doing. I am starting off the day by getting my girlfriend up and getting breakfast at our favorite place. Then we are going ice skating. Then off to get some coffee. Then we will play some video games. Then I am preparing Hasselback Chicken with some vegetables and fancy potatoes and stuff, which is something I have yet to make before. I will have given her some orchids and some Reese’s cups at some point. Finally, we will see Deadpool.
Just to clarify, we are in a happy relationship. I just have to do everything because I am the male.
I am going to break off of the main argument for a moment. Women and men in passive relationship roles, go see Deadpool. Even if you don’t want to, it is the only break your man will get the entire day. Do it. He will get those lovely two hours of unwinding while watching what will be a lovely movie that cost him a measly $35 for the tickets and concessions.
So if you ever wonder why men don’t willingly read romance novels or why the ratio of single people to couples is rising, you now know why.
— kaihartley@gmail.com
Dude. Why even be IN a relationship anymore, since you clearly hate spending time with her (oh no, skating! Breakfast! Dinner! WHEN WILL IT END), and you feel she’s asking too much of you.
Though I’m inclined to wonder: ” just have to do everything because I am the male. ”
Do you really? So…you’re the one who cooks (all the time), who cleans (all the time), who manages all the finances, who puts in all of the emotional energy of maintaining a relationship, and she gives you absolutely nothing in return, no help around the house, no cups of coffee or sweet gestures of kindness, no shoulder to cry on or ear to vent in? She does NOTHING? Sheesh, again, why even be IN a relationship in that case? Surely having an escort or a FWB would be less trouble.
I mean, if she actually does make you do everything because you’re “the male” (like, what, a nature documentary?), then maybe she’s not that good a person. Buuut considering your weird “impossible task” set up in your opening paragraph where you seem to feel that all romance movies only involve MEN putting forth effort (are…are you sure those are ROMANCE movies, and not, like…generic 80’s coming-of-age/action films where they’re specifically about a male character, and the female character exists primarily as a trophy for him to win at the end of the movie?), I’m willing to bet you’re a little blind to any effort women put in.
I’m sorry that you learned how to relationship from watching movies and assumed that some crappy movies–mostly written by dudes–are how relationships work in the real world. That’s a crying shame, dude.
Hey, hope your girlfriend likes this romantic essay you wrote about what a freaking CHORE it is to be in a relationship with her.
Male rights activists are just as bad as feminists, both groups are so stupid and out of touch with reality it’s painful.
What makes you think you’re qualified to decide what most relationships are like? Are you a marriage couselor? I’ve known plenty of men who have been left by women because the woman was working her ass off buying them things and making romantic gestures, and the guy’s idea of romance was buying her a sex toy and calling it a day. I also know women who have been left by men for the same reason. Most people are looking for an equal partnership and it’s not all that hard to find, every woman I’ve dated bent over backwards doing nice things for me. Making your partner do everything is called being a terrible partner, not being a woman. I sure would never be with a woman who never did anything romantic for me, no less sit around and whine about how hard it is to be a man like a pathetic child. If you don’t enjoy spending time with someone to the point that you think going out and having fun with them is some horrible punishment, then the obvious awnser is to either not be with that person or learn some damn gratitude.
I feel really bad for your girlfriend, I hope she gets some sense and leaves you so she can find a real man who actually appreciates her.