Avoiding the plague of love
It’s only Labor Day and already people are pairing off like hydrogen bonds.
These relationships are weak, but for all intents and purposes exist sometimes for no other reason than to nix Great Aunt Martha’s pesky questions at Sunday dinner regarding your dating life.
What forces people together like this? What is it about the Utah atmosphere that leads young people to believe they are less than complete without a “bae?”
Sitting in the Old Main Hill amphitheater during Pobev on Saturday, one young man stood up and read his charming love poem. Blushing, he described a girl whose very scent made him crazy, a girl that permeated every aspect of his life and made his heart warm with affection. The final stanza said something to the effect of (and I’ll butcher this, I’m sure), “I love you — because there’s no one that sees the universe the way you do.”
There was perhaps a .00083 second moment of stunned silence, and then one powerful, cascading monsoon of sighs and “awe”s from every lovestruck female in the audience.
Yep. Even I could not withstand the uber sticky, romantic, sappiness that dripped through the speakers that night. Well done, PoBev poet.
On a more serious note, the idea that this chapter of young adulthood should revolve exclusively around finding a partner is potentially harmful to our young people. Yes, relationships give us love, connection and understanding, but isn’t there also something to be said for self-discovery?
Everywhere young people are bombarded by this idea that one isn’t complete without romance. It’s in Tinder accounts, TV shows on Netflix, “The Bachelor,” celebrity gossip and Hollywood’s newest hot couple at every Smith’s checkout line.
In addition, if you’re a Mormon and in Utah, you can bet your bottom dollar you’ve gotten the classic wisdom from your (well-meaning) young single adults ward bishop encouraging you to go out and find your Prince Charming.
People. I am not a love-hater. I am merely pleading with you to consider the fact that perhaps a “Ring by Spring” mindset, while not inherently wrong, isn’t the ideal springboard with which to enter adult life.
Let’s make sure we know ourselves deeply and fully. Let’s acknowledge that dating is fun and rewarding, but so is friendship, adventure, and ambition. Let’s remember the wise words of Stephen Covey: “interdependence is a higher value than codependence” and recognize that we must survive the chaos of college “Datingeddon” to get there.
— Vivian Gates
@viviangates29