As USU students we should feel safe to disagree in class, right?
My name is Chelsea Heaton and I am writing to you to speak up about an issue that is becoming more prevalent in schools everywhere. I was sitting in class one day when a representative from the campus LGBTQA association came to speak with us about how to be more welcoming and tolerant of those of all different sexual preferences and orientations. While sitting there I noticed a sense of “blind obedience” in the room and a heavy feeling of pushed peer pressure. I knew that at least 60% of the students in that classroom did not agree (at a very core level) with what was being presented. I watched only 3 people get up and leave the room because it was something that they could not give an ounce of support to. For those 3, I commend you for your bravery, but to the other portion of the 60% I say, shame on you for participating in something you don’t support. Shame on you for accepting something because of the palpable peer pressure that filled the classroom. Regardless of what the topic was in class, we should expect more people to speak up and to stand up. Instead, we are made to feel that personal values are irrelevant and that “standing up” for something is really falling for everything. Why are students not speaking up? Fear. A fear that society is instilling in us because we fear to be considered ignorant, intolerant and belittling. If we don’t agree, we should NOT be made to feel that we have to. We have a right to leave. We have a right to not participate. We have an obligation to stand for SOMETHING especially if it isn’t popular. When we do, we are actually telling our peers that we are standing for something and aren’t falling for everything. Stop sitting down and shutting up. Have an opinion, share it politely and be considerate of the other side but don’t be quiet. And above all SAY SOMETHING, I’m giving up on you. #ALLvoicesmatter
— Chelsea Heaton
I don’t know what the lecture was about exactly, but if you’re offended that someone is trying to help you understand someone who is different from you, YOU are the problem, not them. Shame on you for not taking an opportunity to understand an opposing view, Miss We Should Be Able to Disagree.
Also, it sounds like you stayed in the class, so I guess you’re one of the shameful ones by your own book, too.
Have a nice day.
Thanks for voicing my own thoughts so well Brittney. People who leave are not brave, or standing up for what they believe in. Those people were refusing to even attempt to understand a perspective outside of their own. Listening to something is not agreeing to it, and leaving is not protesting–it’s running away and it’s cowardly. If it was really something you couldn’t agree with there’s several options, like taking the time to arrange for an open and honest conversation with the speaker that came to your class one-on-one. Who knows, you might learn a little about their perspective instead of running away. Honestly, I can’t know what the presentation was about, but I’m a USU alumni and what I appreciated most about the school was it’s ability to welcome diverstiy. You may not agree with other’s life choices, but that says nothing about your ability to accept them, and relate to them. We may think we know what’ always right, but we don’t, so it’s unreasonable to judge other’s based on our standards of right or wrong.
Here’s a prediction. At some point in your life, after you’ve had the opportunity to expand your horizons, meet more and more varied types of people, experience more cultural diversity, observe more of the world around you, learn greater empathy, and gain greater wisdom about things of the world, you’re going to look back at this Letter to the Editor you wrote with profound embarrassment.
Man, you sure had your rights infringed upon. How dare they ask for your respect and tolerance towards those who lead a life style different from yours. You should definitely take it up with an authority at USU. Heck, maybe you should talk to your bishop about it. I mean really, how dare they ask you to tolerate people different from you.
Then again, maybe that feeling you described as peer pressure was really just a collosal wave of what kindness feels like towards a group of people being rude.
Then again, maybe people were quiet because they were being respectful to the speak. It’s generally known as common curtesy, or they were brainwashed by the devil. Who could ever know?
What exactly did you feel the need to say? Is there something bad about being welcoming and tolerant to LGBTQA folks? You don’t have to agree with them, but it seems to me that the message is just not to be mean to other people. Everyone at USU deserves to learn without their personal dating choices being questioned. It’s irrelevant to the situation.
Chelsea, if ALL voices mattered to you, then you wouldn’t be having such a tantrum about having to hear the experiences of someone who disagrees with you. I think what you meant to say was #onlystraightvoicesmatter #onlypeoplelikemematter #onlypeoplelikemehavearighttothinkfeeltalkorshare
Please be kind. I was simply stating that I felt this pressure that if I were to leave, I would be deemed intolerant and unkind. And it seems that is true from your comment on my post. I have no ill will for the other side and was simply saying that all voices should be heard and I felt mine hasn’t been heard or anyone’s like mine recently. I don’t mean any unkindness. I really don’t. So please don’t assume untruths about me.
I think you’re the last person that needs to tell others to be kind.
There is nothing kind about getting up and walking out of a presentation in which people have made themselves and their personal stories incredibly vulnerable to you, for the benefit of your education. I have pretty strong negative feelings about a lot of things out there in this world, including Mormonism. I find the teachings to be full of racism and homophobia. But here’s the thing, I have the ability to see that not everyone believes as me. Mormonism is against my core values on so many levels, but if there was a panel of Mormon kids speaking at a school where very few people are Mormon or even accepting of a Mormon lifestyle, you’d better believe I would listen and embrace them as human beings, and try to understand what they experience. As a member of the MAJORITY in this state (e.g. people who are straight and against being LGBT) you are lucky that 99.9% of the time you don’t have to hear anyone else’s story. For one class presentation, you were given the gift of an opportunity to hear from someone else. Someone who doesn’t get to feel so welcome every day, every where. You thought you were being made uncomfortable for having to hear from people different from you for that one class period. But imagine what it’s like for them. They have to do it every day. Believe me, those panel members were much less comfortable than you were. And all you could do was think of yourself and judge. That’s selfish, incredibly unkind, and unbefitting of a college student. You should be more grown up than that by now. I hope you never have to experience what it feels like to be that vulnerable and have someone walk out during your story, or have someone wrote such an ignorant hurtful editorial completely blind to the real suffering that leads those of us who stand for human rights to want you to hear the stories of our lgbtq brothers and sisters.
Not meaning to be unkind and being unkind are not always two different things, Chelsea. Ignorance that you’ve done harm does not mean you are given a free pass for causing it. Most of these responses are as kind as your letter is, and THAT is what you need to realize. Your letter IS NOT KIND. Did you try to speak up? Did you ask questions? Or were you too busy feeling uncomfortable? And how do you know what everyone else was thinking? The people who left WERE intolerant and that’s their right–but if you’re afraid of “looking” intolerant, don’t be intolerant! And if you are intolerant, you will be treated as such. Intolerance is not a voice, it’s a belief system. All voices DO matter, including the LGBT community’s, and believe me, they here a thousand talks about anti-LGBT propaganda for every ONE you have to listen to, so start walking your own talk and stop being “uncomfortable” or at least listen respectfully.
Did you speak up? What did you say to make your voice heard in the classroom? I also don’t really understand how you knew that at least 60% of the class didn’t believe at their core. How do you know that? Also maybe at least one out of the three just had to go to the bathroom or needed to go to the dentist or something, idk. Maybe those who didn’t agree kept their mouths shut not because of their own fears, but out of respect for their peers and the speakers. I also don’t understand what you don’t agree with. Do you not agree with being LGBTQA, do you not agree with tolerating LGBTQA, or do you just really not like guest speakers in the classroom? I hope you’ll post an update and answer some questions, because you definitely want to share your opinion, but I have no idea what your opinion actually is.
Did you speak up? What did you say to make your voice heard in the classroom? I also don’t really understand how you knew that at least 60% of the class didn’t believe at their core. How do you know that? Also maybe at least one out of the three just had to go to the bathroom or needed to go to the dentist or something, idk. Maybe those who didn’t agree kept their mouths shut not because of their own fears, but out of respect for their peers and the speakers. I also don’t understand what you don’t agree with. Do you not agree with being LGBTQA, do you not agree with tolerating LGBTQA, or do you just really not like guest speakers in the classroom? I hope you’ll post an update and answer some questions, because you definitely want to share your opinion, but I have no idea what your opinion actually is.
You sound like an ignorant Mormon, that’s all you come off as.
I too have felt a similar experience to you, Chelsea. I felt fear to stand up and disagree–to have the courage to fight against the overwhelming peer pressure pushed on me by friends, family, and practically everyone around me. It wasn’t until college that I finally began to realize that although the opposing viewpoint of my immediate surroundings was not popular, that it was okay to not only express what I felt, but how the societal pressure around me made me feel. I finally felt courage in voicing that I was gay, that I feared everyday what my Mormon friends and family would think of me if they found out, and that I felt lonely in the pursuit of marraige to a woman despite dating dozens of them. It wasn’t until I realized that college was a place to celebrate differences, to become enlightened, and to explore the human experience not from only a Mormon lens but the thousands that exist, that I realized that my voice mattered and had a place in my academic community. I thank God for allowing me a space to grow and become who I am today. I especially appreciate my Mormon friends who instead of leaving the classroom because they couldn’t give an ounce of support, stayed by my side to listen and to give me a shoulder to lean on despite the differences between us. There can’t be anything more Christlike than that in an institute classroom or academic classroom on campus.
Thank you very much Landon!
It’s people like you that voted for Trump and are causing this country to go to shit.
I highly doubt 60% of your class are actually raging homophobes like you seem to be. I know what program you’re talking about and it’s to help student who have only had the chance to experience or understand a heterosexual perspective. Something that you obviously need. No one is restricting your right to freedom of speech or expression. Quit cowering behind hashtags and just admit that you don’t like gay people.
You disagree with being welcoming and tolerant of all people including those of different sexualities than your own?
Chelsea,
It is healthy for you to learn about cultures, ideas, and lifestyles that are vastly different from yours. No one is asking you to suddenly change your core beliefs, just to respect your fellow students. Learning from different people can actually help affirm your own personal beliefs. The definition of ignorance is shutting out all information other than what you want to hear. At USU we have students from all over the world that come from all sorts of situations. You are right when you say everyone’s voice matters. It will bring us closer as a student body if we try to understand and respect one another. If you share your opinions in class I’m sure you would want those listening to respect you and your right to share your ideas instead of walking out because they disagree with you.
To Chelsea,
Keep exercising your 1st Amendment Rights. I don’t write this to say I support or oppose your thoughts and beliefs, but to say thank you for the controversy.
I use controversy to understand multiple angles of a situation, regardless of my agreeing or disapproval of said situation.
Thank you for supplying some controversy today.
Viva la WaTac
Everyone, Please read this so you understand my real intentions:
Dear readers, I want to sincerely apologize for the way my article portrayed my feelings about the LGBTQA community. My intention was to say that no matter what, you should stand up for what you believe in. I do not hate those who are part of the LGBTQA community. I love them as much as I love the others around me in my class and I do believe that it is good and right to seek to understand their point of view. In the article, I was trying to distinguish that many in the classroom didn’t agree with what was being taught. I was NOT saying that they disagreed with trying to learn how to be kind and accepting of those within the LGBTQA community. Those who left did not find what was being said in line with their personal beliefs so they opted to not participate in the coming out activity that was encouraged by the representative of the LGBTQA representative in my class that day. I personally felt slightly ostracized when I did not want to participate in the activity and I saw many others feel uncomfortable as well but not do anything. Again, my purpose was to encourage all to speak up for what they feel is right and true and that no one should feel that “palpable peer pressure” that I and many others did that day.
Again, my deepest apologies.
Sincerely, Chelsea Heaton
The purpose of the “Coming out Exercise” is to put everyone into as uncomfortable a situation as so many of our LGBT community are put through, not once, but all the time in our day to day lives. We lose jobs, friends, family members over this. Shaming your fellow students for sitting through this uncomfortable moment and gaining a perspective they otherwise wouldn’t have had is poor logic. Hopefully, when your friend or family member comes out to you, you won’t walk away without saying a word. Maybe you learned something from that lesson and would say, “I understand how difficult it is for you to tell me that. I appreciate you confiding this burden with me.” Thank you for apologizing, but please don’t increase ignorance in our world, by telling people to walk out of educational opportunities like this one that many people work hard on.
This just makes things more confusing. So you were invited to participate and express your voice and you chose not to? So where’s the peer pressure?
I don’t know if you dare read any more comments on this site after such an avalanche of negative responses, but I hope that you read this one. I must say that while I don’t necessarily agree with the tone with which you wrote this letter, which expressed a bit more annoyance than is wise in my opinion, I do agree with the underlying point which I believe you are trying to get at. These types of demonstrations often carry with them more than just an attempt to help people to understand other people. Personally, I have no problem listening to gay people concerning their experiences, and I think it good for anybody, no matter what you support, to be able to connect and empathize with them, for their lives can be pretty rough sometimes. Nonetheless, underlying these kinds of presentations is way to often an expectation that we are not only to connect and empathize, but we are also to accept certain kinds of behaviors. That I disagree with, and I believe it worthy of address. I was not present at this class, so I have no way of knowing for sure to what degree this assumption of acceptance lay, but I do know that I have gone through plenty of training and presentations at this university where I found myself being labeled by default a hater. That always sucks.
You can’t begin to understand “palpable peer pressure.” Try being LGBT in Utah, and reading this. That’s “palpable peer pressure” and it is everywhere here.
Chelsea is scared that her superior lifestyle and voice will be taken away. She doesn’t understand these people have fought to have the minimal voice they have today, and many of them are still scared/ashamed to speak up. It’s astonishing that there are still ignorant and close-minded inviduals in 2017!
I’ve heard that white nationalists receive heavy criticism when standing up for what they believe in. Don’t let facts or fear stand in your way Chelsea! Hold your strength high above your head.
Angela,
Trying to discredit Chelsea’s experience while pontificating on your own is not the best way to persuade Chelsea to your worldview.
Chelsea Heaton Your hashtag #ALLvoicesmatter is, by my standards, reckless. Your “core level” belief seems a blatant statement that our LGBT community should not not even exist and, if you are able to ignore it, it will simply go away. Education is painful. Shall we eliminate global warming, as a scientific fact, because it’s uncomfortable? Unspeakable in some states a law in others. Florida comes to mind. I digress. You have, through your comments, told me that you do not consider my LGBT friends of the human species. Indeed, they should keep their mouths shut and not “come out” to deliver education and understanding thereby eliminating fear. I can’t help but feel sorry for you on a level I suspect is above your level of comprehension. I only wish I could go back 40 years and save the lives of some very kind, beautiful people. I frequently count friends who died due to “palpable peer pressure”. I am immensely proud of chosen friends due to their love, knowledge, kindness and tolerance rather than lack thereof. While I believe you have the right to say and publish whatever you’d like this doesn’t mean I am required to appreciate the substance of what I consider diatribe. Yes, regardless of your “core beliefs” I will read it. I must admit I find your rant amusing simply because I will not let you steal my hope. That being said, I will take just a moment to refuse to stand idly by and allow such blatant discrimination to go unchecked. Good luck to you in your endeavors. I am even hopeful that you will find your niche. May you find peace and less fear. Hold on!!! Life is a wild, at times, painful ride.
The program being presented was only encouraged openness of perspective and inclusivity of all people, regardless of prior religious values. Also, 60%?? Sounds like some fake statistics to me.
I wish that this was a more positive article and communicated better. An apology after the fact doesn’t really fix the problem. There are people that are hurt by this. As someone who participated in those panels it saddens me with the lack of openness that is being communicated. It is never stated you have to support LGBT rights it’s about bringing awareness and hopefully connecting with people. This letter only creates more of a riff. We all need to be aware of our privilege and how that benefits us. If someone who is in the LGBT community wrote this letter talking about straight people they would be ripped apart. They would be attacked verbally and physically. There is no love in this letter as a member of the LGBT community this hurts and deeply saddens me. We need to love others more. Or we will destroy each other.
In my mind, this is a rant or a letter you maybe could have sent to your institute class instead, because by reading it, it does sound more like you were having existential anxiety during your class, and the main points of your article are better suited for an enclosed LDS audience, and not in a world where diversity is sought after. You don’t have to believe it or support it by listening to it. Like I don’t have to believe or support the church when the missionaries stop me on the side of the street for a quick teaching. Everyone has a story to share and something to offer.
I think had you focused more on listening and participating to get the full effect of the excercise or the lesson, rather than watching what everyone else was doing, you might have gotten more out of it. Your description is very much an internal sheep follower debate. Did you think about leaving, or “speaking up” until before or after you saw the other people leave? Did seeing them leave make you feel uncomfortable because you assumed they left because they didn’t agree and then we’re stuck wondering if you should stay or go? Did you then try to gauge the room to see if others were about to get up and go?
Really it sounds like your internal debate is more a series of you making assumptions about others thought, acts and intentions. When really your thoughts and decisions should have been in your own head. You can’t speak for others or what they were thinking based on your perception of how they look during a lecture.
I hope that maybe one day you will sit and listen to someone share their story. That you may be enlightened by someone else who has a different experience than you do. That you can maybe, even slightly, begin to see what’s it’s like for someone LGBTQA+ to love in a predominantly LDS state. And may I remind you. Your prophets have taught to be accepting and open minded of other beliefs and other ways of living. But it is the culture (especially in this area) that has caused a different form of beliefs and fears.
Trust me, being in the minority is very difficult. (And I am just speaking from my personal experience here.) You feel like you shouldn’t speak up because of the potential of negative backlash that may come from it. You feel that because your opinion isn’t popular that it is unwarranted. You have felt pressure your entire life to force yourself to be something different than who you are. This little experience of an uncomfortable hour is a speck into the lifetime of uncomfortable hours that someone LGBTQA+ has or will ever have to listen to.
I am disappointed by your lack of maturity in writing this letter. A lack of understanding in a university setting. A university that puts pride in its diversity. There is so much you can learn from someone who has different experiences or lifestyles. To quote you, “#ALLvoicesmatter”…….including the ones you don’t agree with.
Chelsea Heaton,
I’m sorry that you probably didn’t expect to see so many comments that criticize your article. I used to also think that the values LGBTQ community were not aligned with my beliefs. I didn’t really understand it and obtained most of my information through pressure from my family, friends, and the media that I was exposed to. I am ashamed of myself for not trying to understand more of it. I know that the retaliation received after expressing you do not believe in LGBTQ values comes as shocking as people think that you are not accepting of them. I know, in all actuality, that is what you mean. I know that you don’t feel like you’re being intolerant of others but maybe you’re not aware of it. I didn’t realize it either until my best friend came out as gay. All those things that I had said of how I didn’t support what the LGBTQ stood for meant that I did not stand for him. That I did not believe in what he was feeling were true feelings. That whatever he was experiencing was false and unnatural. That who he was was not someone I could support. I felt awful. I know that wasn’t how I felt about him but what I had thought was standing by my beliefs was being disdainful to his. I didn’t realize how much pain he was going through alone. Hiding who we was just so he could be accepted for the parts of him that people felt comfortable with. He helped me understand his experience and taught me to be more open-minded. Though I am straight and find myself comfortable in my identity, I understand that they fight for equality and recognition that they are who they are. Which is something I support and love.
I hope that you understand that, though you may not intend it, your article and comments come off as discriminatory towards the LGBTQ community. I encourage you to understand the views that these people are trying to express and to interpret this experience in another way. Maybe it could be seen that the “peer pressure” you were feeling was maybe something that was influenced by the classroom and not the person presenting the activity (who was probably just as uncomfortable.) If at least 60% of the class really did disagree with what was being taught, this person representing could’ve felt discouraged but still had the bravery to stand up for what they believe and not allow themselves to be overwhelmed by opposition (something that you insist people need to do more of.) You can even find it inspiring of those who stayed to participate were able to set aside their judgement and try to understand another person’s point of view despite being outside their comfort zone.
I support that you have your rights to your own beliefs and I agree that you should stand by them. Although, I also believe that others have their rights to speak up for their beliefs without being ostracized themselves. If people would allow themselves to understand more of others, the world would be a better place.
You write, “I personally felt slightly ostracized when I did not want to participate in the activity…”
This is not a problem with the school or its the community, the LGBT speakers or LGBT community, and it’s not even a problem stemming from peer pressure. This is a personal issue. You were welcome to give your personal opinion and you chose to withhold that. Instead, you publish an article due to your own fear to speak up in front of an audience that may disagree with you. You’re correct in that you have the right to speak up, and this was not revoked. Your personal fear kept you from it.
The big problem with your article is that you are shrugging off a discriminated minority for your majority comfort. If the speaker had focused on racial acceptance this article would have been unacceptable and blatant racism. In this hypothetical the unvoiced opinion that black people should not vote may be chalked up to peer pressure but in the end is an unaccepted opinion. Bigoted voices are largely disliked which, whether it was on purpose or not, is what you have come off to be.
I’m sorry but if your “personal value” is not accepting a human being because they don’t hold the same beliefs about sexuality a you then you might want to check just how much your personal values align with the Nazi party. Personal values about intolerance and disgust and vile hatred for people who live different lifestyles than you do not deserve respect or tolerance.
Last I check a “core belief” of Christianity is love and acceptance of all people no matter what their lifestyle is. If that’s something you feel the need to get up and walk out on it might be time to check who you’re standing by.
Satan was the one who wanted to force everyone to live a certain way. It seem to me those who profess to live your “lifestyle” are moving closer and closer to his side of the battlefield.
Oh, honey. I really feel for you. You really stepped into it, didn’t you? I also read your apology that implied you were just misunderstood, but that’s not really what happened, is it? I’ve been in your shoes before; young, righteously indignant and where I stuck my foot in my mouth, and then realized I have a lot to learn. If you do learn, you’re likely going to feel embarrassed you ever wrote this. Some day you’re going to have an experience (hopefully) that will show you how truly unChristlike it was for you to walk out on vulnerable people. Maybe you’ll have a gay child. Maybe someone you love will come out. I have found that the more righteously indignant I am, the harder the lesson/crash is.
Let me leave you with one thought: Yes, it it is ok to disagree. But the thing about freedom of speech is that it isn’t really free. You have the right to say what you want, but if it’s a righteous disregard for others, the consequence is that you might be called out for it. Also, you are right that your values matter. It’s just that in this instance you chose self righteousness masked as morality over loving thy neighbor.
P.s. The truth is that you were homophobic. You don’t have to change your own values to not be homophobic. I wish your apology was more of a ‘I have learned a lot and I am sorry I chose to stand up for my beliefs my hurting other people. I’ve been where you are. And trust me, it feels a lot better to not be so indignant. Just let people be. It’ll make you happier.
AMEN
Ok. Let’s be real for just a little bit. This whole situation could be completely avoided if the speaker had not come at all. I’m NOT saying that because of the particular group involved (nor am I saying I wouldn’t welcome them if they came)- let’s think about this situation. In any given class, the professor has exactly 50 minutes of my time and every class I go into, the maxim for my professor ought to be to use it well. If a visiting speaker does not touch on the topic the course deals with, or doesn’t come with an opportunity to build a resume or a career, let’s face it- they shouldn’t be there! Because what is the point? The same objectives could be achieved with a booth waiting for me the moment I step outside those doors, or people set up in the hallway to engage me in conversation as I walk by. That’s the beauty of college campuses. Plus- people have more freedom to engage if they desire AND no time is wasted in my crucial courses! And I’m talking about ANY sort of group- you don’t see the Outdoors club coming into our classes or the Students for Liberty Association. We already have a Diversity Week (which was perfectly informing and appropriate) and there are plenty of times and places to set up to talk these issues over. But a classroom where people are expecting to power through a lecture on topic? Probably not the best place. Now, Chelsea, if you are in a gender studies, social conflicts, psychology, or some such class and the speaker was there, be respectful and let civic discourse have its day! You say people didn’t agree and didn’t want to hear the speaker- you gotta admit that stinks pretty bad of intolerance. I mean, if the speaker was talking about acceptance what exactly would people disagree with?? What did you expect people to get from your letter with that as the overall tone?? The rest of you, let’s not sit here and pretend that the “progressive” side of things is any more tolerant to hear conservative values and ideas. The protests at universities like Berkley, and NYU, and in Weyburn, Saskatchewan (to name only three) should be enough to prove that. It’s not about who is intolerant and who is ignorant- considering many of you are trying to shame and force a change in the opinion of one person who clearly didn’t think out her letter. It’s about the right time and place. And while our first-amendment rights are very dear to me, my classroom time, and lecture time? Not it. How’s that for speaking up? #callmenerd
Nerdilicious, I get your point, but this was a social work class. Social workers and others who work in human service related fields need to be prepared to work with LGBT people and other forms of diversity.
If you disagree with treating fellow human beings with decency and supporting basic human rights, then yes, you should be afraid of people calling you “ignorant, intolerant and belittling.” Because you are ignorant. You are intolerant. And you are belittling.
Tolerance is a two way street. The LGBT community expects everyone to tolerate everything they do, but if you’re a Christian standing up for what you believe in is considered bigotry, closed mindedness, etc. The LGBT community continues to demand more and more without accepting other party’s views and that is not okay! I love all those who support different lifestyles and I never judge their choices, but that doesn’t mean I support or agree with what they’re doing. Be loving, be kind, and always show respect for all groups of people without forcing others to give special treatment to your views only.
The problem with your statement is that christian beliefs are almost universally accepted by society. You don’t have to justify your religious views but those who are LGBTQA+ have to not just justify their views but also justify their existence in this world. Being ignorant of these issues clearly shows what privileges you have that they don’t. People can and will disagree but the point is we have choices and she chose to post this article and now we choose to criticize it.
“Demand more and more”. I heard that statement on a “news” program and straight outta the mouth of an unnamed politician. Equal rights, last time I checked, was a Constitutional Right for ALL MEN. Please explain what you mean by “special treament”. The fact that any “community” has to keep asking for equality is ridiculous. What exactly do they want that you don’t have? I’ll tell you, nothing. I do have a problem with “Christian’s” who prefer the pick and choose bible and simply use God’s word for personal gain. I do hope you’re not a bacon eater or football player. “And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase.” (Deut. 14:8) (See Lev. 11:7) This too it is an abomination. Pick and choose Christianity does not a Christian make. I am overjoyed that many in the LGBTG+++ have finally been accepted into Christian Churches. Even Jesus was a homeless immigrant of Middle Eastern descent. Pick and choose fear and loathing is simply unacceptable in my book.
Nobody should have to be tolerant of others hurting them. That’s like saying, “I know I just punched you in the gut but you can’t tell me it’s wrong to punch someone in the gut or you’re being intolerant.” I have ZERO problems with Chelsea believing as she wants to believe, but I have a big problem with her being hurtful toward other people. Getting up and walking out of the room is an aggressive and mean-spirited act. No one in that room was asking her to be gay. It is not against her value system (I assume) to listen to and be kind toward another person. It is against her value system to be gay. No one tried to change that about her. What she did was throw a very public tantrum about other people being allowed to be gay, and to say they are gay in her ear shot. Other people not following your religion is NOT the same as other people preventing you from following your religion.
Okay Normally I stay very far away from any kind of comment section especially when It involves religion and LGBTQ issues. Mostly because of posts like this. I WILL PUT THIS IN CAPS SO YOU CAN HAVE A CHANCE TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TYPE. As a member of the LGBTQA family, we love everyone regardless of race, skin color, sexuality and religion. THE POINT that most of us give up on that is when Religion is used as an excuse to excuse homophobic, transphobic , racist behaviour. You say that we expect everyone to tolerate everything we do? Honey no. I’m sorry that that is what your view is of the LGBTQA family. Maybe try and broaden your horizons a bit? Also we don’t have to accept your views or beliefs if your views or beliefs are rooted in our oppression. When someone who is religion says “You are going to hell because you are gay and that’s my religion.” THAT IS THE DAMN point when we don’t have to listen to you. And damn this’ll be the last point because I can go on… “Be loving, be kind, and always show respect for all groups of people without forcing others to give special treatment to your views only.” Your words. Do you want to know how many times i have had metaphorical doors shut on me because of my sexuality? Do you truly think that me fighting to be able to be married with the man i love is wrong? Now don’t get it twisted please, I would never want to get married anywhere near your church so you can worry about the sanctity of marriage in Utah with the highest divorce rate in the country and all of that good stuff. Now to end this positively. Show people love they show it back. If you show them hate or any kind of discrimination be prepared to have it given back twenty fold as seen by the response to Chelsea’s letter. I would hope that you participate in some kind of program on campus that will broaden your horizons a bit Meg, because the world is a big place and Utah is a very small part of it. Have a good one.
I think it is such a gift that we are able to express our opinions so publicly! This post has started a discussion based on the number of comments it has received, but I think when we share our opinions in a public venue, we should be kind and considerate. One of the amazing things about each one of us individually is the fact that we all come from somewhere different, meaning no two perspectives are exactly the same. That adds to the variety and individuality of our society and environment, we all have something different to bring to the table. I think Chelsea brought up something she felt strongly about, which is good! We should be passionate about issues, we should speak up when we feel it is right to. If we disagree with what she said and we feel strongly about it, we should speak up and say what we think too, but personal slander is not an effective means of communication. If someone attacks my character, I am not at all open to listen to their point of view. However, if someone points out an opposing perspective in a respectful and kind manner, I am much more likely to listen. That doesn’t mean my point of view changes necessarily, but it helps me formulate my opinions and be a well rounded and informed citizen. You can question and challenge the validity and credibility of an argument without attacking the speaker. Personal attacks polarize people, they tend to make us feel as though we either have to agree completely or disagree completely when in reality, there is more middle ground then we might originally think. I appreciate that Chelsea apologized since she realized she may have written something that might have come off too strong. It is hard sometimes to express ourselves kindly and clearly when we feel passionate about something, but being able to admit flaws in our communication shows a lot of maturity as well as openness and humility. Thanks Chelsea for that maturity! All voices do matter, but kind voices are more likely to be heard and understood.
You’re in university to get educated. An educated mind is able to entertain a thought without holding it. When in this situation take in the information and discuss it later. It’s good to have your beliefs amd values challenged.
I sure hope the author of this letter isn’t religions so she can use the term “blind obedience” without sounding like a hypocrite. People get these condescending opinions on the LGBT community by sitting on a bench and nodding yes to everything that comes from a pulpit. That is blind obedience. Critical thinking is exposing yourself to different view points with a rational open mind which the author of this letters is discouraging.
College is here to challenege you both mentality and morally. That said, I feel I should not do this but since you have decided to make such absurd generalizations,I will make some of you. Your probably a white ex missionary of the LDS church that was born in Utah. Raised to be afraid of the outside world and within your small worldview, you were told to reject those that sin and are different you. Since, you are part of the majority here in Utah, you have become inpowered to speak out against those you frown upon. I am glad you had the backbone to submit this LTE because I now know that closeminded and ignorant students are at USU. If you don’t like having your “bubble” popped by others, maybe Russia or China will take you on. I heard censorship is popular there.
Chelsea,
You are very obviously a homophobe and your submission is an incoherent mess. I have nothing else to say.
I can guarantee that people who are non-Mormon or LGBTQ and live in Utah have to deal with this kind of situation much more than you do.
You ask the question “As USU students we should feel safe to disagree in class, right?”
Do you believe that someone should feel safe to express ANY opinion? I believe that someone should not feel safe expressing opinions that are clearly morally wrong, such as suggesting that slavery is okay because of religious beliefs. The suicide rate for those in the LGBTQ community is very high because so many people have opinions like this based on no other reasoning than religious belief. Everyone has a right to express their opinions, but if they are morally repugnant opinions then others will use their rights and push back.
Hello,
Best friend of one of those who walked out here and I’d like to clarify some things. No one walked out because the speaker represented the LBGT Community. They went to class and heard a speech about the experiences and such of a gay, lesbian, bisexual etc. person. That’s great. Students may not disagree with that lifestyle, but there is a lot to be said about hearing opposing opinions and gaining broader and new perspectives. But here’s where the issue is, the class was asked to participate in a “coming out” activity or excercise. No one should feel forced or peer pressured into participating in something that they personally disagree with. And that’s what these students felt and are feeling now because they walked out. Not because they’re homophobic or opposed to being exposed to new perspective, but because there’s a difference in being exposed and having to participate. And then being totally shamed and called out for expressing that *see previous comments
That’s where we in society have a double standard. Discrimanation and hate are very real, but are different from disagreement. I don’t know the author of this letter to the editor, so I don’t know her story exactly or her opinions and feelings, but I have known my best friend for more than 7 years. She is the kindest, most loving and accepting person I have ever met. She doesn’t deserve this stereotyping and hate that is happening here in these comments because she felt uncomfortable participating in something that she disagrees with. She can love and accept the LBGT Community without feeling pressure to agree and participate. We can be tolerant without 100% agreeing.
She should feel safe in standing up for what she believes in.
You’re all here preaching tolerance. Try and practice what you preach.
I’m not responding just to you in this piece, but to all of you who are essentially claiming ‘reverse discrimination’ by feeling picked on for expressing your religious beliefs. You are missing the whole point. YOU ALREADY HAVE THE POWER. You are already in the majority. The point of that class to give you a taste of what it feels like to be in the MINORITY. Apparently, some people couldn’t take it. It’s super uncomfortable. Well, to that, I would say: Welcome to the world of those who are oppressed. Because they feel like that everyday!
So don’t tell us to be tolerant. It just makes you look uneducated. The concepts of inclusion and tolerance WERE NOT CREATED FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ALREADY HAVE THE POWER. I think it’s great you felt persecuted. Because now you might have empathy for those who feel like that all the time. And maybe you will refrain next time to playing the victim when you’re not actually being victimized. (Try coming out of the closet and *then* you can tell us all about what it’s like to be victimized.)
You’re telling people to be tolerant of intolerance. That makes no sense at all! Chelsea is free to believe as she wants to believe, but by writing this awful article and by walking out of that class, she engaged in actions that are hurtful to others. That’s not okay, and nobody has to tolerate it. The coming out exercise does not ask LDS students to do ANYTHING against their values, at all. All it does is ask you to write things down on little pieces of paper and imagine for a few minutes that you had to lose those things simply because of your sexual orientation. It’s walking in the shoes of another person hypothetically, within your own imagination. It doesn’t involve asking anyone to engage in any homosexual acts. It doesn’t involve asking anyone to say it’s okay to be gay. It doesn’t even involve saying it’s not okay to be homophobic. ALL it involves is asking you to put yourself in another person’s shoes. As a former Mormon, I’d say that’s actually pretty darn consistent with Mormonism. Chelsea can believe and feel whatever she would like to feel, and she can practice in her own life in ways that are consistent with that belief. But the act of getting up and walking out of a room when you’ve been asked to try to understand (that’s it, just imagine and understand!) is an act of interpersonal aggression. If this was an exercise to help students understand the costs of alcoholism, and your friends were asked to engage in a similar exercise in order to better understand the experiences and losses of those who struggle with addiction, would you still think it’s appropriate to get up and walk out just because they’re Mormon and they don’t think it’s okay to drink alcohol? I’m guessing no. Why not? Both alcoholism and being gay are very against the Mormon religion. The difference is that some people think it’s okay to treat gay people like pariahs just because of who they love. Well, it isn’t. They are still human beings with feelings and it’s rude to show them so much disrespect. Period. Your friends missed out on an opportunity to be real Christians and learn what it’s like to step in someone else’s shoes and love one another. The rest of us have a right to stand up and tell Chelsea and your best friends to stop hurting the people we love.
TL/DR: It’s fine to believe what you want to believe. Nobody is being intolerant of Chelsea’s religion or beliefs. It’s not fine to engage in hurtful actions toward others who’ve made themselves vulnerable and opened up their very personal stories of loss and struggle for the benefit of helping you grow as a human.
While it is not clear what led you mean by “a heavy feeling of pushed peer pressure,” it appears this is your interpretation of the silence and inaction of other students. It is useful to point out that peer pressure is other people like you or those who you identify with (peers) urging you to do something you might be reluctant to do. In your letter you state that “60% of the students in that classroom did not agree (at a very core level) with what was being presented” You go on to urge those people to “Stop sitting down and shutting up. Have an opinion, share it politely and be considerate of the other side but don’t be quiet. And above all SAY SOMETHING” or else “I’m giving up on you.” That’s peer pressure.