HITCHED – Relationship Q&A
While we would like to think we can figure out relationship problems on our own, it’s often helpful to get some outside advice, whether it’s from family and friends or maybe even a therapist.
Kay Bradford is a professor in the Family Studies Department at USU. With a Ph.D. in marriage, family and human development, his research focuses mainly on relationship education and how it can help those in relationships. We had the opportunity to ask him a few questions:
Q: What got you interested in studying relationships and family life?
A: I find the power of people’s relationships fascinating. Relationships grow in importance in our lives.
Q: If you had one tip to give young adults that are dating, what would it be?
A: Be real, your best self, and look for the best in the other. Research shows us that the better you know a person, the better the relationship.
Q: What would you say is the biggest detriment to relationships today?
A: Even in a great relationship, the other person can’t make us happy. We bring who we are to a relationship. Again, be your best self!
Q: How can couples learn to communicate better?
A: I hear, “We can’t communicate,” but couples communicate constantly, for better or worse. Especially if you disagree, consider her/his point of view. She/he may return that favor, or probably already does that for you.
Q: What are some tips for handling disagreements in a relationship?
A: As cheesy as it sounds, try reflecting back what the other person said. It could be a revelation.
Q: What are some signs of a healthy relationship?
A: Look for respect, trust, and honesty. If those things are there in the relationship, then caring, fairness, and good communication are often there, too.
Q: What are some signs of an unhealthy relationship?
A: Manipulation, dishonesty, and control are “EXIT” signs in a relationship.
Q: Why is visiting a marriage and family therapist useful for couples?
A: While therapy can help couples see their strengths and challenges, relationship education is a great option for most.
For singles in Utah, I strongly recommend our free class, “How to Avoid Falling for a Jerk or Jerkette.” Taught through USU Extension, these classes are available in many counties in Utah. We also have free classes for healthy couple relationships, parenting/fathering, and blended families: https://healthyrelationshipsutah.org/class_descriptions/smart-dating-class-description.
—alek.nelson@aggiemail.usu.edu
@nelsonalek