Dear diary, should we date? Red and green flags to look for in a relationship
What should you be looking out for when starting out a new relationship?
Felicia Gallegos, the outreach and prevention coordinator for the Sexual Assault and Anti-Violence Information Office, or SAAVI, shared a few red and green flags to watch out for in your budding romance.
Red Flag: exerting power or control over you
A partner exerting control over you can manifest in many different ways. Some examples are name calling, controlling what you like or post on social media, or constantly checking your location. Some couples are comfortable with sharing locations and social media accounts, but if you’re being forced to do so, your partner is adding a level of control to your relationship.
Green Flag: ability to communicate
If your partner is able to consistently and clearly communicate across the board, that’s a good sign. Watch for consistent patterns of communication.
Red Flag: physical and verbal aggression
In a healthy relationship, a couple should be able to talk through conflict without it reaching a level of aggression.
Green Flag: respects your boundaries
Your partner should always respect your boundaries, and this starts with your interactions online. A good partner will never pressure you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, in real life or over text.
Red Flag: isolation
Watch out for a partner who tries to cut you off from friends, family and hobbies. In a healthy relationship, you should have your space and they should have their space. You should have your space as a couple without engulfing each other.
Green Flag: wants to get to know you
A good partner will want to know why you are who you are. It’s a bonus if learning your boundaries is part of this conversation.
Red Flag: disrespects boundaries
You should be able to share what you’re comfortable with without being pressured to do otherwise. Before even beginning a relationship, it’s a good idea to sit down and talk through your boundaries with yourself.
Green Flag: practices consent
A good partner will practice consent in all aspects of the relationship and will always respect your decisions about what you’re comfortable with.
If you feel that you are in a situation where you need help, SAAVI provides confidential victim advocacy and counseling for the Utah State University community. More information about their services can be found on their website.
Darcy Ritchie is a second-year journalism student at Utah State from Idaho Falls, Idaho. Outside of writing for the Statesman, she loves to DJ for Aggie Radio, eat french bread in the Walmart parking lot, and tweet.
—darcy.ritchie@usu.edu
@darcyrrose