The elephant and the rider

There’s a giant elephant tromping around in your brain. The elephant is seemingly controlled by a rider, who is much smaller than the elephant. 

This isn’t actually what’s happening in your brain, but it’s a brilliant analogy created by psychologist Jonathan Haidt.

In Haidt’s metaphor, the rider is controlling, rational and goal-oriented while the elephant is emotional, loyal and instinct-based. To simplify, the elephant is your autopilot and the rider is always overthinking, generally representing overly critical thoughts. So, you would think the rider, who holds the reins, would be in control of the elephant, but it’s actually the other way around for some people. 

The elephant represents passion and desire in its most basic forms. What power does rationality have over desire? 

Desire and passion beat rationality every time, so why do we always pin those feelings against each other? I know if I want to eat chips and salsa at 4 a.m. because I can’t sleep, the rider in my brain is going to go berserk. She’s going to go on and on about how eating at 4 a.m. will create a terrible habit that I’ll never be rid of. She’ll criticize me for not being able to sleep and nag me about the important meeting I have early in the morning (which I’ll now be exhausted during). All the while, my elephant is hearing my stomach growling. If I have to choose between a criticizing and insulting voice in my head, or a nice voice, I’m going to always choose the nice one — the elephant.

Unfortunately, it isn’t that simple for me. I’ve gotten so used to listening to my abusive rider that I forgot my elephant even existed. The best part is, my rider has just gotten meaner and more destructive, so when I do listen to my elephant, the consequences are more devastating — these breakdowns are just more ammunition for my rider. 

The breakdowns I’m talking about usually look something like the following: binges, rom coms and crying in the dark (all done alone by the way). Your breakdowns might look like that, they might not, but the point is these are the low points that happen because you’re neglecting your elephant. It’s time for you to start listening to your elephant. 

The metaphor of the elephant and the rider has been a huge game changer for me. I started asking myself, “When was the last time you did something for you?” and “What do you really want to do?” As it turns out, I’ve been forcing myself to do things that I don’t want to do and my elephant has dragged her feet the whole way. 

My rider only had power because I gave it to her. The more you listen to your elephant, the less abusive your rider will become and the safer you’ll feel in your mind. Still, it’s a slow process but one worth processing.

*graphic courtesy of the Carnegie Foundation.

Emily White is a junior studying English and broadcast journalism. She is currently serving as the senior writer for the Lifestyles section of the Statesman.

—emily.white@usu.edu