Soapbox: Criticism helps, ignorance hinders

Everyone wants to look good and feel smart. As human beings, it’s part of our nature to try and keep quiet about things that could embarrass us or cause damage to the precious reputations we’ve spent so many years building up. As Americans, it’s part of our culture to look the other way when someone else does something annoying or disconcerting in hopes that others will do us the same “favor.” We all have problems. But is allowing inappropriate behavior to continue or covering up the fact it happens actually doing anyone a favor?

I remember in middle school there was a teacher who was notorious for being creepy. When I went to talk with him about some homework once, he told me, “Last time I was this close to a girl, I kissed her.” Gross. I felt extremely uncomfortable, but I didn’t do anything about it except whine to my friends. If more students had voiced concerns to administrators or to him directly, perhaps he would have stopped making such weird comments and would have been better known for his teaching skills than his bizarre behavior.

I’ve been described before as “snappy” because my initial tendency is often to react quickly without much patience. I have known that to be true for a long time, but it used to bother me a lot when people would point it out. I’d take things personally and jump into defense mode without considering the motivation behind these comments. A couple of years ago, someone explained to me that when I’m being criticized, I ought to consider my source.

When you know someone cares about you and he or she gives you feedback, listen. The reason that person is criticizing you isn’t to hurt your feelings or cut you down; it’s to help you grow and fulfill your potential. We each have habits that hold us back. For some, it may be a reactive personality. For others, it may be making comments that cause discomfort. For others still, it may be a desire to appear strong and reliable. No matter what our issues are, the world would be a better place if we were more open and genuinely honest with each other.

Ignorance is only bliss for those who don’t have to deal with the consequences resulting from the choices of the ignorance, which pretty much rules out everybody. When we are ignorant of our follies, it is easy for us to point out what others should do better, though many times our own problems cause more distress than theirs. Likewise, when we try to ignore or pretend we don’t have issues, we deny ourselves the chance to improve.

Lacking confidence and trying to improve are not the same thing. The former is dismal and the latter desirable. The line between the two is thin and difficult to find, but once you get yourself on the right side of that line, there’s no telling how much better you can become. Not only will others find you easier to work with, but you will gain more confidence as you track your progress. Those around you will view you with more integrity because you’re being honest with yourself and with them.

A lot of people will criticize you over the years — maybe someone in a newspaper, maybe someone who doesn’t know you, maybe someone who you consider family. But if you’ll let them, these words can give you helpful insight and will lead you to become someone you’ll like even more than your current self.

Please, if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for the rest of the world. Learn from your mistakes, and stop taking things so personally.

— Mariah Noble is the editor-in-chief of The Utah Statesman. She is a senior studying journalism, Spanish and multimedia, planning to graduate in the spring. If you have feedback, please send comments to statesman@aggiemail.usu.edu.