Humans of USU: Bike mechanic plays the kazoo
The Utah Statesman interviewed Jared Christensen, a sophomore in mechanical engineering and pre-med from South Jordan, Utah.
Utah Statesman: Why mechanical engineering and pre-med?
Jared Christensen: I want to go into robotic prosthetics. I always tell people that seeing “The Empire Strikes Back,” when Luke gets a new prosthetic arm after Darth Vader chops it off, is what inspired me.
US: Were you involved in robotics in high school?
JC: Nope. I just did lacrosse and music in high school and that’s pretty much it.
US: What do you do in your free time?
JC: I’m a bicycle mechanic at Aggie Blue Bikes and I love riding bikes around. … I’m in a band called Mr. McCarthy and the Abbots. It’s like an indie-folk duo, so I play guitar and make sick harmonies with my voice.
US: Do you perform anywhere around Logan?
JC: We’ve performed at a few places, and we’re probably going to be performing more in the upcoming months.
US: If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
JC: I’ve thought about this a lot. Definitely time travel because if you have time travel it’s like the ultimate trump card. You’re fighting a super villain and everything goes wrong. You just time travel back and then redo everything the right way, and then you win, right? Time travel.
US: If you weren’t in engineering, what would you be doing?
JC: That’s a good question. I kind of talked about music, so maybe music majoring, but I’ve also thought about psychology because I like peoples’ brains, and I like people. I feel like I’d be a good therapist.
US: Any random talents?
JC: Well, obviously I have impressive facial hair, and I can pick my nose with my tongue. I just have a super long tongue. I can also fit my fist in my mouth. I have a really huge mouth and pretty small hands.
US: Do you have any tattoos?
JC: I don’t. I’m thinking about getting one. You know the band Twenty One Pilots? I’m thinking about getting their little Twenty One Pilots symbol tattoo.
US: What instruments do you play?
JC: I play guitar a lot, and I play ukulele, and I play trumpet and I play piano. I play harmonica, and I play the recorder, and I play a little bit of saxophone and I play a mean kazoo.
US: Any other instruments you want to learn?
JC: I would be really interested in learning how to play the cello. I feel like cello is just boss. The cello is such a pretty sounding instrument, and I feel like guys that could play the cello just get all the ladies. That’s like the peak of musical ability.
US: Did you consider going to any out-of-state colleges?
JC: Growing up I never thought I would go to Utah State, but then in high school when I actually started considering universities … I was pretty set on coming here. I thought about MIT for a little bit, but then I never took the SAT, and I knew I wouldn’t get in.
US: Favorite school event?
JC: There’s going to be a concert next week. Fictionist is playing and I’m super stoked for that for Homecoming Week. I only went to Poetry and a Beverage like two times, but I think it’s a pretty fun thing. I like the beverage part, especially.
US: Favorite fall beverage?
JC: Hot apple cider. So good.
US: Vans or Converse?
JC: Definitely Vans. I really liked Converse for awhile, but then I realized that Vans are so much comfier.
US: Any words of wisdom or life advice?
JC: Today USU, tomorrow the world. I guess that’s it. I should’ve been thinking about words of wisdom.
US: How do you hope to change the world?
JC: With my robotic prosthetics, I’m hoping at some point I could just get an extension that attaches to my ribs, and I could be the first person to play a two-neck guitar simultaneously. It’ll just have one set of hands playing the upper guitar and one set of hands playing the lower guitar, and then I’ll just be the best rockstar ever.
US: What would your stage name be as a multi-instrument-playing performer?
JC: I’ve never thought about this question. I just made up that prosthetics thing on the spot. It’s kind of reminiscent of Dr. Octopus from Spiderman, so maybe I could be like “Dr. Oc” or something.