A dachshund’s tale

alexsloan@whatthefuck.com

A dachshund’s tale

This is a response to an article printed in the Statesman News 19th September, 2001. The author of the original article is a Journalism student at USU (G.I. Jo). He had tried to interview someone who knew about a foreign student (J.C.) that expressed that he thought America deserved this attack but no one would talk to G.I. Jo. I offer an alternative way of thinking…

G. I. Jo: “No nation deserves to have their way of life altered as ours was. No one deserves to have their families and loved ones robbed from them. No one, that is, save the terrorists behind these horrific acts.”

Devil’s advocate: The “United States of America” has been in the business of altering the way of life of people in nations throughout the world from the get-go. We, the people, have robbed nations of their land (Native Americans); We, the people, have robbed families of their loved ones (African slaves or people who happened to be walking down the street in Nagasaki Aug 9th or Hiroshima Aug 6th, 1945…

G. I. Jo: “Ok, what are you doing here? If this is such an evil, horrible country, then why are you here?”

Devil’s advocate: Though I can not speak for the poor student (let’s call him J.C.) that misunderstood the first amendment of the constitution of the United States of America, freedom of speech- unless there is a national tragedy and you have an opinion that differs from the majority. Imagine, if you, G. I. Jo Hobson are ready to lynch J.C as if he were the terrorist, what our military is preparing to do to anyone with a turban adorn on their head and sand beneath their feet.

Devil’s advocate: It really disturbs me when people ask the question, “if you hate this place so much? Then leave.” Not only do I not hate this place, my birthplace, I want to love it. I have traveled to more countries than you can name and in each of them I have found aspects that I like and in each of them I have found aspects which I abhor. I say that I want to love the US because I think we have much to improve. I will truly love this country, once I have spent my life trying to make it a better place. To be content with the government in any country is to be selfish, lazy, and somewhat ignorant.

Devil’s advocate: I am certain, that in Alabama in the 1960’s, when people were trying to fight for their right to sit at the front of the bus, other people told them that if they don’t like the laws of this country then they should just leave.

Devil’s advocate: There are policies in place that do rob loved ones from their families. The sanctions we have on many countries force family members to either leave the country to make money and send it back to loved ones or leave their home and work under some horrific conditions in order to provide food to their starving families. We place sanctions on countries because those countries want to be more like us. Pakistan and India have sanctions in place because they tested nuclear weapons and Cuba has sanctions because we disagree with their philosophy and they have the bomb. In order for WE THE PEOPLE to live so well, WE THE PEOPLE must regulate the world to keep THE order- our order.

Devil’s advocate: If we used the money we spend on our military to try to influence foreign governments and out-right pay for the education, food, shelter, and medicine of their nationals we would probably have a more peaceful world and plenty of money to spare.

G. I. Jo: “I certainly don’t think this attitude is representative of most of the non-U.S. residents we have on campus or in this country. However, the idea that it is representative of just a hand-full of people is disturbing to say the least. Very, very, disturbing. Maybe that’s why I can’t get anyone to talk about it.”

Devil’s advocate: Would you talk to some opinionated, militant journalist, who just might be able to justify giving out your home address or phone number by “accident”.

Devil’s advocate: There are probably many people throughout the United States, save Logan, Utah, who believe that the U.S. had it coming. Not that they, the PEOPLE, deserve dying such a horrific death, but that the United States deserved a bump on the noggin. Think of how difficult it is in this country to lobby your point of view so that congress will pay attention. If you are a poor nation with a dire need or a desire to be left alone in this world, how do you lobby the MOST POWERFUL NATION ON EARTH in order to push your cause?

Devil’s advocate: In addition, back to the idea of “deserving,” the US trained O-bin Laden and many of his followers. If you can’t place responsibility on the teachers of terrorism then where can you place blame? We are chasing the tail of terrorism like some neurotic dachshund and when we finally catch it- we will probably determine that it is attached to our own ass.

You: Do you think the people in those buildings deserved to die?

Me: No, I think it is a senseless loss of life.

You: Do you think we should kill those responsible?

Me: No, not if WE THE PEOPLE are responsible. I think who ever “they” are should get a fair trial. – Remember Salem and the witch trials- not the example to follow.

You: Do you think they could get a fair trial in this country?

Me: No, do you think?

Feel free to exchange the word “ass” for “bum [Brit. slang]”

Harry Schrotum753-1893