A Holiday Vision
This morning I saw baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph on the back of a flatbed truck. There they were, just stuck in the traffic like everyone else. I’m not prone to visions. In fact, the last time I got turned down for a job it was because the committee said I “lacked vision.”
In other parts of the country you can get put away for having visions, or at least have your driver’s license taken away for a long time. Here visions are the stuff of heritage and job descriptions.
Anyway, the first holy family was stacked sideways like cord wood along with a mule, sheep, a couple wisemen and other assorted plaster nativity statuary. It looked to be a city public works truck, so I can only assume these anglicized icons were being taken away to be stored amongst the giant Easter bunnies, flashing plastic pumpkins and cheese princess parade floats. We love our holidays and Jesus, Mary and Joseph needed to get out of the way before Valentine’s Day and whatever follows that.
Having just survived another season, I feel a little like being trucked off to spend the next 11 months in a dark warehouse myself. I could sit swapping stories with the other stiffs ’till December, 2001, rolls around.
It wasn’t that bad. For the most part we avoided going on killing sprees, but I ran into a lot more people this year who were more glad it was over than they were sad about its passing. Christmas is getting up there with the Super Bowl and Spielberg for reality that can’t possibly live up to the hype. Since I fear it is unlikely that we’ll ever go back to simpler Norman Rockwell times, I suggest that we at least combine the hype.
From now on let’s just have Christmas, the elections, Olympics, Super Bowl, the release of the next Back Street Boys CD, the next version of Microsoft Windows, skirmishes in the Middle East and the newest James Bond movie premier all culminate on the same day. We can call it Wretched Excess Day and get on with our lives the rest of the year.
If we are going to continue celebrating holidays locally, I’m kind of hoping that, if it is OK with the local governing bodies, that we celebrate the holiday on the day that holiday falls. Logan is the only place where asking “What time does midnight mass start?” is not a stupid question.
I mean, I’m glad we have started to have a First Night Celebration, but having it actually on first night would have been even better. Otherwise it should be renamed First Night Eve or Last Night.
Of course this celebration was brought to you by the same people for whom celebrating July 4th can actually fall anywhere from July 1-6.
This is just a suggestion. It’s not a vision.
Slightly off center appears every Wednesday in the Statesman. Comments
may be e-mailed to dennish@dellnet.com