Alumna shares importance of life’s plot twists
Liz Howell shared one of the deepest and darkest twists in her life story Wednesday in the TSC Auditorium. Her speech, “What Will Your Story Be?” highlighted feelings of hope and determination that can arise after tragedy.
Howell and her husband Brady, USU alumni with degrees in international relations and political science, were living, working and achieving their dreams in Washington, D.C. when American Airlines Flight 77 was hijacked and flown into the Pentagon at 9:37 a.m. on Sept. 11, 2001.
Brady was working as an intelligence specialist in the naval offices of the Pentagon. He died in the 9/11 attack at the age of 26.
“Brady was fun,” Howell said. “He was adventurous. He was unstoppable.”
After his death, Howell struggled with her identity and rebuilding her life.
“Who is Liz Howell?” she said. “I didn’t even know who I am. So much of my identity was part of his identity. It was part of our story together, and it was no longer there.”
Howell said she eventually realized the loss of her husband was not the end of her story. Instead, she saw it as her personal character development for the next chapter of her life.
She continued to plan and dream by first completing medical school and then serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She learned two languages, Spanish and Portuguese, while serving.
Upon returning home, she said she was drawn to humanitarian work.
Howell said her biggest motivators today are her hope for tomorrow and her husband.
Howell works for LDS Charities, the humanitarian branch of The LDS church that specializes in disaster relief.
Following her speech, Howell was awarded the USU Alumni Merit Citation for her humanitarian work.
The event was held by the College of Education and Human Services. Matt Ditto, CEHS senator, planned the event and said he felt her perspective on the 9/11 attacks was different because of her proximity to the event and that her speech touched him.
“Her story is really quite incredible,” Ditto said. “It was quite touching because she shared the experience of losing her husband. I was impressed that even though her life was shattered, she took that and moved it into humanitarian work.”
When Howell watched the news coverage of the 9/11 attacks in New York, she was at work on Capitol Hill, just miles away from the Pentagon. She said she felt incredibly calm.
“I had the thought of, ‘Everything will be OK,'” Howell said.
After being evacuated from the Capitol by police, Howell made her way home. Once there, she immediately looked for signs of her husband, but there were none. She said she was overcome with the dark and evil feeling in the air.
From her apartment in Arlington, Va., she could see the Pentagon and the ominous smoke which filled the skyline.
That night, she was visited by a congressman and an armed guard at her home. They informed her Brady was “officially missing.”
Her friends urged her to get some rest, but Howell couldn’t sleep knowing her husband was missing.
“I got out of bed and I put on my shoes and I snuck out of my house so my friends didn’t see me,” Howell said. “And I just started walking over to the Pentagon. There were police lines and police tape everywhere. There was firefighters putting out the blaze still … and lights flashing everywhere. And I remember that I didn’t care.”
Howell continued through the dark and lifted police tape along the way. One officer stopped her before she reached the last rope.
“I looked at him and I said, ‘My husband is in there and if you don’t get him, I will,'” Howell said.
She was permitted to approach the rope and said she could feel the heat coming from the flames inside the building.
“I just stared … I yelled out and I said, ‘It’s OK Brady. You can go now. I will be OK,'” Howell said. “And I wept.”
Howell continued her speech by using the burning building and the ashes left behind as an analogy for how she felt in that moment and the months and years that followed.
“Those ashes, to me, represented grief, heartache, lost potential, devastation, destruction,” Howell said. “And you know, I started to realize that if anything these ashes were actually building my character.”
Eddie Holloway attended Howell’s speech and said he experienced a renewal of hope after listening.
“The ashes were just a really deep chapter in the book of her life, and it didn’t destroy her,” Holloway said. “People tell me that I’m not going to get where I want to be, become a doctor or do this, that or another. But those are the ashes that I need to allow to build me instead of destroy me.”
Slideshow pictures of Howell’s humanitarian service were then featured while she explained each of the unique situations which she has experienced and the lives she has been a part of, from Mongolia to Hurricane Katrina.
Howell concluded with words for those whose stories may not ever be told who are experiencing heartache and disappointment on every and any level. She offered two suggestions for dealing with personal plot changes.
“Stay true to your story. Make sure it’s really what you want and it’s really true to who you are,” Howell said. “And if there’s a turn in your plot, I would say to stay in character. Stay true to your character. It may be devastating but learn all you can from the experiences which you are going through. You do not need to reinvent yourself. You do not need to start all over. Take that with you to the next chapter.”
— mdmaners@gmail.com