An Ode to Bad Poetry Night

“You hearty, farty slangwhanger” caught everyone’s attention as Brittney McDonald began to read her bad poem.

McDonald is the vice president of Utah State University’s creative writing club, the Bull Pen.

Bull Pen and Sigma Tau Delta, the English department’s honor society, hosted this year’s Bad Poetry Night.

After all of the planning the two clubs put into it, McDonald said, “It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.”

Bad Poetry was an event planner’s dream. People showed up on time, laughed, participated and even mingled with people they didn’t know before the event.

Balloons, streamers and lights greeted people as they walked into the classroom. The decorations framed the inspiration for the night’s events — a quote from the man who claims to be Shakespeare himself — Kayne West.

The night started with soft chatter as everyone waited for the poetry games to begin.

When the poetry games’ instructions were given, the classroom of students willingly went quiet, so they could focus on writing a funny, maybe inappropriate, bad love poem.

Maggie Duersch, a senior majoring in psychology, said, “It (writing poetry) was a lot harder than I thought.”

Groups of three and four laughed over the sentences they had chosen from a bag to use as the first and last line of their poem. Others were bent over their desk, writing pen in hand.

Heads would pop up from the fervent scribbling as people finished the poems they would soon share with everyone.

Once the chatter had risen, the time came for the sometimes dreadful yet always hilarious readings at Bad Poetry open mic.

One by one, poets went to the front to read their work.

With a goal of bad poetry, people were able to let loose and perform their bad love poems for the group.

Stalkers, stalkees, grocery lists, pickup lines, chinchillas and everything love related were the topics of the poetry read.

“I really liked how open it was,” McDonald said. “The more subtly dirty it is, the better.”

The poems with the clever innuendos, suggestive implications and even explicit terminology associated with love and the act of loving sparked the biggest reactions from the group.

Wes Steele, a junior studying communications studies, said he enjoys poetry because he likes to create raps.

“Writing in rhymes makes sense to me,” he said.

Steele read a poem about a dramatized date that the group referred to throughout the night as “Fornication — Slam the Door.”

The attendees voted his comedic poem as the best bad poem of the night.

While receiving his award, someone in the crowd mentioned they felt like music should be playing during the “ceremony.”

Bad poetry’s creative group responded to the comment by simultaneously breaking out into the “Happy Birthday” song as Steele received his award.

Steele pulled off the Starburst wrappers used as wrapping paper to reveal a folk festival puzzle, a prize fitting for the night.

McKay Gibson, a sophomore majoring in electrical engineering, also said he likes poetry because he likes to rap.

“Eminem introduced me to poetry,” Gibson said.

Both Steel and Gibson put a twist to their poetry at bad poetry by reading it to a beat and making creative rhymes.

Bad Poetry is a tradition that has been occurring since before the planning committee can remember.

Last year was the first year that the event was held around Valentine’s Day, and this year was the first year where prizes were given out.

“Last year, we had wall-to-wall people just laughing,” said Braden Clinger, the Sigma Tau Delta vice president.

This year wasn’t any different. People shared taboo, dramatic and comedic poems that entertained.

Jeannie Woller, a junior studying creative writing, said she believes people can’t write bad poetry without being a good writer.

“It [Bad Poetry Night] gets a bunch of different people that just all want to share in the joys of terrible, terrible poetry,” Woller said.

— whitlewis7@gmail.com